Supernatural in Real Life 2-Attack of the Killer Clowns

Chapter 5

"It's Jensen!" Jared calls from the main room. I can vaguely hear the sound of a phone ringing, and it stops as Jared answers it.
I look up at Lucifer, who's lying in my bed with me. That's all we've been doing for the last few hours. We've been waiting, sometimes talking, sometimes just lying together in a comfortable silence.
"We should get up," I murmur. "See what Jensen wants."
He nods reluctantly, but neither of us move for a few moments. Finally, I sigh and sit up, and Lucifer does the same. We walk out to join the others, though neither of us want to. They're all seated on a couch that hadn't existed before in front of a flatscreen tv that's just as new. They all look over to us as we come in, and Gabriel pats the couch next to us, gesturing for us to join them. Lucifer does so without hesitation, and I follow him curiously, sitting on his other side. I curl up on the couch, resting my head on his shoulder. He puts his arm around me lightly.
"Get a room, lovebirds," Gabriel says teasingly.
"Shut it, short stuff," Lucifer replies automatically.
I look over at the tv. It shows Misha and Jensen in the car, Jensen holding out a cellphone on speaker so Misha can hear it as well.
"Alright, go ahead," Jared allows them before hanging up on his own phone.
Jensen puts his away and heads into the building they're parked in front of. I can tell immediately by the looks of the people inside that it's a police station. The two of them walk up to an officer, holding out two fake badges.
"Hi, I'm Agent Parker and this is Agent Barrow. We're hear about the clown 'epidemic.'" He makes hand quotations around the last word.
"Where's that from?" Ruth asks.
"Bonnie and Clyde's last names," Rob answers.
"It's about time," the officer replies. "This has been driving people crazy for the past few weeks. I never thought it would happen here, though."
Misha nods to show he understands. "And have you identified any of the clowns?" he asks, sounding like a professional. It's strange to think this is the same person that stays with us at the bunker.
The officer nods. "Yes we have. Um... Carl Robins and Melissa Frans, I believe. They're both actual clowns-professionally, I mean. They worked with different groups, their families and friends said they didn't know each other, and as far as we know, there's no relation. Well, except the killer clown thing."
Jensen nods to show his understanding as well, which is apparently a very professional thing to do. "Alright. And do you have the victims bodies?"
The officer nods. "Yep, not that there's anything interesting to see. If you still want a look, follow me."
The two of them follow him into another room, where a guy in a large hat is standing. The hat covers his face, and the body in front of him on the table covers the rest of him.
"Hey, Woody," the officer greets him. The guy-Woody-just tips his hat in response. "They're here about the clowns. Federal agents. If you have any questions, you know where to find me." the officer leaves, and the three of them are alone.
"Hey," Jensen says. "This the vic?"
"Took you long enough," Woody replies, not answering Jensen's question. He removes his hat, and I recognize him immediately. Its hard not to, even if he did die many seasons ago.
"Zachariah," Jensen hisses. Misha's posture changes, and Castiel takes control.
"Guilty," he agrees carelessly with a smile. "So, you're here to take care of the clowns? Gotta say, you took so long, we were beginning to wonder if you were even going to try."
Castiel glares at him. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to see you, of course!" He gives the boys a smile, but it's obvious he doesn't really like them.
"What do you want from us?" Jensen asks.
"I wanted to tell you that you're in way over your head," Zachariah replies. "This is like nothing you've ever faced before. Trust me."
"What are you talking about?" Jensen asks. "We've faced clowns. We've faced worldwide problems. What's different about this? At least it's only in the country."
Zachariah chuckles humorlessly. "Oh, you naïve little ape. This isn't just clowns. It's-" He stops himself. "You don't want to go up against this, because I guarantee you, someone will die, whether you succeed or not."
"I think you underestimate us," Castiel says.
"No, I think you underestimate what you're up against," Zachariah counters. "Trust me when I say, you do not want to do this."
"And if we don't, will you?" Castiel challenges him. "If we leave these clowns alone, will Heaven kill them?"
Zachariah shakes his head. "We have bigger concerns than this."
"Then I guess we'll just have to kill them ourselves," Jensen replies.
"Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you." With that, he disappears, leaving Jensen and Castiel alone in the room. Castiel immediately gives Misha control again. The two of them pull the sheet off the body in front of them, revealing a stab wound on his stomach. Jensen examines it, then looks up at Misha and shakes his head.
"Nothing weird," Jensen announces. "It looks like this isn't a case at all. If Zachariah hadn't shown up, I would have assumed it was just another murdered using someone as a knife holder."
"So what do you think is so dangerous about it?" Misha asks.
Jensen shrugs. "Not sure. Maybe there's something on the other bodies?"
The two of them look at all the victims-five total. All of them were killed in completely normal ways, from being stabbed to choked to beat to death. There are no marks on the bodies, either. Overall, there seems to be no case at all.
"Well, that was a bust," Jensen says with a sigh.
"Well, at least we know it's a case," Misha reminds him.
"And that one of us is supposedly going to die," Jensen reminds him. "If something goes wrong, sure, but if we succeed?" Jensen shakes his head. "No, I'm not believing a word that son of a bitch said."
Misha nods. "Yeah, I guess. Alright, let's go back."
The tv disappears, and everyone that was watching around me gets up. I look up at Lucifer, confused. What just happened? Why did the tv disappear?
"There's nothing left to see," Lucifer tells me. "Gabriel always makes us a tv to watch what's going on, like what he used to do as the Trickster. They're just driving back now, though. There's nothing to watch anymore."
I nod, showing my understanding. "Makes sense," I reply. "So, now what? We just wait?"
Lucifer nods. "Yep. Not sure what we're waiting for, though. It looks like we have nothing to do until we find something that shows us that there is, in fact, an actual case here."
"Why did Balthazar tell us to check it out, but Zachariah told us not to?" I ask.
"Balthazar doesn't work for Heaven," Lucifer informs me. "He left during the lead up to the nonexistent apocalypse, which Zachariah, Raphael, and Michael are helping Heaven recover from. Odds are, if Zachariah had to tell us himself, this is something pretty important to Heaven. Unfortunately, none of us are really Heaven's favorites, so trying to figure out why... Well, it would be a suicide mission to go to Heaven and ask."
"Really, even Gabriel?" I say in surprise.
"Why are you so surprised it's Gabriel?" Lucifer asks.
"Well, he's a archangel," I answer. "Shouldn't Heaven want their archangels back?"
Lucifer raises an eyebrow. "You do remember I'm an archangel too, right?"
Honestly, that had slipped my mind. Okay, I need a coverup so I can answer. Um...
"Yeah, but you're the devil," I remind him. "I figured they'd have it out for you just for that. I'm sure it takes a lot to get the boot from Heaven. But didn't Gabriel just leave?"
Lucifer nods, not seeming to doubt my explanation. "Yeah, but he's working with us.  That's about as bad as it gets to them."
"Seriously? You're not that bad."
Lucifer chuckles. "Well, we have stopped their apocalypse quite a few times before. And started a few apocalypses, too. 'We' being the rest of the gang; I'm just here for the sarcastic remarks."
"You've got that covered, that's for sure," I laugh. His jabs are fun to listen to, especially when it turns into a battle of wits with Jensen. I'd rather have my sweet Lucifer than the sarcastic one, though. Of course, that's mostly because he's sweetest when we're alone, and I love what we can do when we're alone.