Hush《D.H.+P.L.》

Don't you move

I feel like these chapters are too long should I start writing shorter ones? Usually they're 2,000 words or more but is that too much?

Dan and Phil had decided neither of them would go back to class. Neither wanted to. Dan lived too far from the school to walk so they didn't know where to go.

"You live close by?" Dan asked gently. Phil nodded, looking up at Dan. "Would your dad be home at this time?" Phil shook his head. His father usually left before he even woke up and got back late. Phil never thought he came back late enough. "Right, so, your house?" Phil nodded, feeling too mentally drained to think further or argue, and so they started walking.

They walked the whole way in silence, Dan's arm across Phil's back holding him against the side of Dan's body as they walked. Phil thinking about Dan's caution towards his father. He didn't want Dan to be suspicious. He was trying to think of some lie to ease Dan's nerves. It was a one time thing? Maybe. Dan was inquisitive, so if Phil was going to lie, he'd need to be able to answer Dan's questions.

When they got to Phil's house, Dan watched Phil reach into a potted plant and pull out a spare key from the soft soil. He put it in the lock and turned it. The knob was twisted and the door swung open.

Dan dropped his bag by the door and the pair slid their shoes off. Phil waved his hand to motion Dan to follow, and they walked upstairs and went in Phil's room. Phil sat on the bed and patted the space next to him which is where Dan sat. He offered a gentle smile as silent consolation and a subtle hint to speak, but Phil just looked down.

He didn't want to talk about it. Talking about problems meant facing them, and Phil just wasn't ready to face them. They were intimidating and scary. He wanted them gone but didn't know how to get rid of them. He wanted to be his former carefree and happy self, but he just didn't want to do anything. He felt exhausted. Physically and mentally exhausted. But he also felt like a child, expecting his problems to fix themselves.

One of Phil's biggest fears is facing his fears. He doesn't want to hurt Dan or Mia or Greg or Lainey. He hates how weak he feels and how angry he is at, not only himself, but his father as well.

"Phil, come on, talk to me please." Dan said gently. Here Dan was, the first person willing to listen to Phil in his whole life really, and he couldn't manage to open up. Phil looked away from Dan, ashamed of himself.

"Hey, come on, Phil. Talk to me. I can help you. You believe that, don't you?" Dan asked. Phil nodded, but his fear and anxiety didn't subside. It still bubbled in his stomach like a boiling soup. "We can start small." Dan explained. This made Phil look up curiously. "You can tell me something small that's bugging you. Homework, tests, those kinda things." Phil shrugged. None of that stuff was bugging him really. The homework was simple enough stuff (mostly), and he didn't have any tests this week. His mind was mixed between his weird crush on Dan and everything that's been happening.

Phil knew he shouldn't like Dan, and he was trying to be mad at him. But Dan made him feel better, made him smile, even forget a little. But then everything hurt so much worse when he remembered. He loved and hated it at the same time. It was wonderful and terrible, but like a drug, Phil just couldn't seem to quit Dan. It hasn't even been two days, and Phil cared for Dan. Then again, he noticed the subtle things Dan did when they weren't talking.

He never messed with Phil. He would help Phil pick up his things when they fell sometimes. He knew Dan was kind. He would notice the small smiles as they passed each other in the hallway. The gentle nudges that would be followed with kind smiles. On occasions when Phil would be out of pencils, Dan would coincidentally drop one, and when Phil tried to return it, Dan would tell him to keep it since he didn't need it. It was sweet, and it made Phil feel warmer somehow.