Hush《D.H.+P.L.》

I'm just fighting to get by

Phil woke up, slowly. He forced his eyes open, and was met with a fairly dark room. He yawned and looked around. Where was he? Is it his room? He could tell it was by the familiar dark shapes in the room and where they were.

Whilst racking his brain to remember what happened before this, Phil heard rapid footsteps. He felt himself become suddenly anxious, his breath speeding up. He clutched the duvet and pulled his knees to his chest. He felt scared to say anything or call out for anyone in case it was his father. 

For some reason, it helped Phil remember what happened before he fell unconscious.

He tried to kill himself. He tried to die. He failed. They saved him. But why did they do that? No one cares, not really. People put on these faux acts and pretend to care, but Phil knew they didn't. Maybe they'd feel guilty because they felt responsible for him.

"Phil," a voice said said as the door opened. "You're awake." Dan said. He had a huge smile on his face that made Phil's heart tighten. Phil looked down. He nodded. More footsteps and someone flicked on a light switch, and Phil squinted, adjusting to the light.

"Phil, thank God!" Mia said. "Guys, he's awake!" More people floods into Phil's room. Chris, Pj, Lainey, and Greg. There was a barrage of questions shot a him.

"Why, Phil?"

"What caused it?"

"Is it my fault?"

"How do you feel?"

"Are you okay?"

"Does your head hurt?"

"Should we call a doctor?" (He was sure that one was posed to the group, but he still was irritated by it like the others).

"Hush already!" Phil yelled, covering his ears with his hands. Everyone immediately fell silent. Phil looked up and saw everyone's concerned faces. He was drowning in guilt. Mia had tears in her eyes and hugged Phil.

"I'm sorry." She sobbed. "We're just so worried about you. N-No one knows why you di-did that, and I-I just-" she was cut off by her sobs. Phil didn't say anything.

"Can I talk to Phil alone? Just for a moment." Dan asked. No. Phil thought.

"Of course." Mia said, letting me go and nodding. 

Everyone left, and Chris shut the door behind him. He engulfed Phil in a the tightest, warmest hug he could manage. It took all of Phil's self control and then some for Phil not to hug him back.

"What happened?" Dan asked. Phil's heart broke when Dan's voice did. "Y-you were getting better a-and," he whimpered. Phil inhaled a shaky breath.

"I saw Charlie kiss you after school. Th-then you left with him. I-I thought you two w-were gonna-" Phil couldn't even finish the sentence. He knew he'd break down if he did. Dan laughed dryly, hugging Phil still.

"Phil, you need to trust me a little." Dan said with a sniff. "Charlie was my best friend for a long time before I dated him. I told him I was with you, and he kissed me anyway. He told me not to tell you, and that it didn't matter." Phil felt crushed because for a moment, he thought Dan felt the same way. "But I disagreed. He wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. Pj, Chris, and I decided to have a little chat. Basically, I told Charlie to follow me. I found Pj and Chris, and we told him to fuck off and never talk to any of us again since he obviously had no respect for me or my relationship." Phil smiled and let out a sob, hugging Dan tightly.

"I-I thought that y-you didn't love me anymore when you left with him." Phil sobbed. "I thought you were going to leave me. I-I love you so much, Dan. I didn't want to lose you." Phil said, his voice fragile and soft.