She's not me

As I Traveled Back... Down That Road

As I kiss back, I hear, music? "I was thinking 'bout her" I feel her say, against my lips, slowly pulling away to look at her, she continues "thinking 'bout me" that's not her voice?"Thinking 'bout us, what we gon' be" she says, ok what the hell is going on? All of a sudden, everything starts to fade what's happening? "Open my eyes" yeah suddenly everything turns white...

"what the hell?" I mumble, jolting up "-it was only just a dream" screw you Nelly! Looking down, I soon see the source of the music, picking up my phone "so I traveled ba-" thinking it was my alarm, I turn it off "Well that happened" I say to myself, looking around I notice that, I'm in a dressing room? Mine to be exact, weird? Sitting up I feel something fall off me and onto the floor, checking to see what it was, I realise that, it's a script that seems to be folded on to a certain page, picking it up, I start to go over it only stopping when I come to certain parts...

Opening Scene: The Flashback

Act 1: Stevie & Hannah

This isn't happening, is all you can really think of at this moment, as your heart slowly but surely breaks, as each word leaves the now once beautiful thing you loved kissing the most at every opportunity you could, of your now former lovers lips... Lover? You may ask, well you can't really call her your girlfriend, although you had hoped to have had been able to soon, which you guess won't be happening now huh, you see you can't really call someone your girlfriend when you've never had the chance to ask them to be, in the first place...

Charlie (Y/n): So this is it? You're finishing with me...(pause for dramatic effect) us? Before we've even had the chance to really begin?

You say, your voice slightly raised and trembling a little, as you do

Hannah (Cara): I'm sorry Stevie truly I am, but it's for the best, for both of us to do it now before it becomes something serious, especially when I don't have feel...(she pauses for dramatic effect, then repeats again after "you want") feelings for you, at least not the one's you want... it wouldn't be fair on you

Stevie(Y/n): It's her isn't it

You ask now finding it in you to look at her once vibrant eyes, that for some reason now looks lost, before you can say anything else she abruptly stands up and heads to the front door, but just as she's about to leave you hear in almost a whisper her say

Hannah(Cara): I never wanted this...(she pauses for dramatic effect) to hurt you.

And with that said, she was gone

Well I'll be damned, it really was just a dream... what's next? Don't know let's find out, turning a few pages I come across the scenes, where I found out that Lauren was seeing camila only it wasn't them, obviously, and it turns out it doesn't play out like that in the actual scene, only some do, so I'm guessing my brain, made some scenes that didn't fit into my real life fit? To seem more real? I guess, I don't know, then that phone call with Lauren etc Oh no, this scene... The only part in the dream and script, that was real and did happen, was finding out about my dad, that was last month...

Ok last page let's see... Reading it, I get to the end of page, which is believe it or not where I woke up

Act 4, The kiss: Closing the door behind you, you turn back around, only to be pushed back up against it and a soft pair of lips on yours...

"I was thinking 'bout her, thinking 'bout me-" the fuck? "-Thinking 'bout us, what we gon' be-"  I thought I turned that off?
"-Open my eyes (yeah) It was only just a dream, So I travelled back down that road-" picking up my phone, I see that it's actually someone calling me "-Will she come back? No one knows-" answering it "Hello?...hey mum, yeah no, I know...I'm leaving just now...ok yeah... love you too... right bye" hanging up, I grab my things and leave...

**********

Pulling up outside my Mum's house, I switch the engine off and just sit a few minutes, going over everything, taking it all in, it's weird, it all felt so real and now I don't even know what's happening in my real life, it's like someone took an eraser and went all out in making sure I don't remember, this all feels so-

*Knock,Knock*

Turning I see my mum, looking at me through the window, as if to say 'either there's something wrong or your just weird', getting out, I lock the car and turn to her "you ok?" She asks, raising an eyebrow at me

"Yeah. Just tired is all, been a long day" I say, and it's true, after making sure I wasn't lying, she hugs me, leaving an arm around me and she walks with me back up to the house

"Why don't you go upstairs for a lie down, everyone else has, apart from us old folks"she says jokingly  "plus your old room is still there you know" my mum says/hints, as we walk in, she's never gotten used to me moving out "yeah, I think I will" I say, giving her a grateful smile, then heading up "I'll give you a shout when dinner's ready" I hear say behind me

Opening my old bedroom door, I'm hit with the nostalgia of it all, as it always does when I visit, looking around, I can't help but laugh a little at just how much is still the same, kicking my shoes off and grabbing a pillow, I pretty much just end up planking across my bed

Sighing softly as my body relaxes to the comfort of the bed, I slowly start to drift off, but just as I'm about to sleep, a weight is pressed onto my back the fuck? "Ugh! Go away am trying to sleep" I mumble, burying my head further into the pillow, making whoever rudely woke me giggle and sit properly onto my back, groaning I put the pillow over my head to drown out the noise

Feeling myself quickly start to doze off again, I relax waiting to fall into a deep slumber, at least that's what I was hoping, instead I feel suddenly quite a wake, when I feel the pillow being took away and then soft kisses being placed on to my neck, quickly turning myself around, so as to see who it is, I'm met with a happy and very cheery surprise...

"Finally! I knew that would work" she says, leaning down to give me a kiss and let me tell you it might have been short, but it felt like fucking fireworks

"Hey, beautiful" I say, smiling at the girl who has not only plagued my thoughts, but also my dreams

"Hey" Lauren says quietly, as she looks up at me from her spot on my chest, we stay like that for a bit, just silently looking at each other, as I take in every detail of her, I have never felt so grateful and lucky than I do now, and that's when it happened, I remembered everything up to this very moment, our first date, first kiss, our first 'I love yous', our first time, all of it, every little bit and that's when I thought about what my dad said in my dream and with that, I make a decision, that will surely be one of the best things I will ever do...

Sitting up so that she is now sitting in my lap, I look straight into her beautiful emeralds and ask the most important life changing question I will ever ask in my lifetime "Will you marry me?" I ask, feeling the nerves start to kick in, I watch as a toothy smile forms and a tear starts to trickle down her cheek

"YES! yes, wait I swear if this is a joke" she says, pointing a warning finger at me

"It's not I promise" I say, smiling like a crazy person

"I love you" she says, looking at me adorably

"I love you too, so much, you have no idea" I say, pulling her in for a long passionate kiss...

"I realize"  yeah "it was only just a dream"