Agitated Afternoons// h.s

Rising Tensions

"Theresa can I talk to you?" Zany asks, coming up behind me. I was just watching Liam and Louis in the recording booth. The two of them were goofing off and it was making me laugh. Harry had gone out to get Starbucks like a regular white girl and I couldn't go with him because I'm not supposed to be alone with him in public. Niall was otherwise occupied with a phone call from his mom so that just left me, Zayn and some producers sitting around. I glance back at him over my shoulder.

"Yeah sure." I reply with a smile, noting the tone in his voice. "Lets go to the balcony." There's only a couple of them at this studio but it surprised me that there even were balconies. Zany likes to smoke out on them sometimes and I can tell that he needs to calm down right now. He's fidgety. Zany nods slowly and I weave through legs and chairs to follow him out the door. Niall is in the hallway and waves at us as we head out. I wave back and watch Zayn smile lightly.

"No, mum." Niall says with a bit of a sigh. The rest of his conversation is cut off as we head further down the hallway.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked Zayn. He motions for me to come closer. I step to his side and he leans down to whisper in my ear as we continue walking.

"Its best if no one is around to hear." I nod my head and decide to wait until we're outside. He's already pulled a lighter out of his pocket and is flicking it absentmindedly. I want to tell him not to burn his fingers but he seems to know what he's doing.

Zayn pulls open the sliding door for us, which squeaks a little as he does. He ushers me out and I slide past him before he steps out as well and shuts the door behind him. I wait for him to light the joint before speaking. I don't particularly like the smell which I think Zayn only remembers at the last minute. He opens his mouth to apologize but I shake my head. "Its fine. I know it calms your nerves." He breaths out slowly and then turns to the scenery before us.

"L.A is a crazy city." He murmurs as cars honk their horns below us and the sound of a helicopter moves overhead.

"I'm sure you didn't just come out here to tell me that." I say jokingly. Zayn chuckles.

"No. I wanted your opinion on something."

"Seems like you want my opinion on a lot of things." Zayn nods.

"Because you're disconnected from all of this." He says nodding his head back to the glass door. "You'd be more understandin'... I hope." I don't understand what he means. "I'm thinking of leaving the band." I'm so startled my jaw drops slightly and I try to regain my composure quickly. Zayn has closed his eyes which is probably a good thing because he didn't see my reaction and maybe that's why he did it. Maybe he thought I would be disappointed but what Zayn needs right now, is validation for his feelings.

"Zayn." I say softly, touching his arm. He finally looks over at me and I open my arms slightly for a hug. He immediately embraces me. The stench of weed on him is almost overwhelming but I don't care. I hug him back tightly, burying my head in his shoulder because I'm too short to do anything else. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" I whisper.

"No, nothing." Zayn whispers back but he's shaking. "Well, a lot of things." We don't let go of each other though.

"You've mentioned it before. Your frustration when we were writing your song." Zayn nods and begins to let go of me so I draw back and watch him take a drag on the joint. Smoke pours from his mouth as he begins to speak.

"Yeah, its basically the same thing. Management won't let us do anything different. They have has trapped us. I feel trapped and when I told Liam.." he paused, running a hand through his hair. "He got this sad look in his eyes that made me feel like a fuckin' cry baby. I don't want to disappoint him. I don't want to disappoint anyone but I feel like I'm suffocating."