My Last Day Standing

Chapter 2

"I need to go out on business this week. You're mum thinks you should stay here and you two could do something together. have a girly week maybe ? You know ? go outside see the sun for once" My dad stood in the centre of my violet painted bedroom walls, he had both hands placed firmly on his hips as i watch his lips moving, earless to his words. After i realised he'd stopped talking i looked down at my hand and stayed mute. My parents think ever since i'd been diagnosed, I have disconnected myself for my friends and shut myself out from the function of the on going world but they just don't get it. They can never only ever imagine how hard it is for me but they can never feel it or experience my pain. It was hard at first but like everything, you learn to deal with it and put up with what obstacles it throws at you on a daily basus. i'm just not the person they consider me to be, they expect me to be lonely and difficult to handle, but i enjoy my own company and don't mind being alone. i wish just for once  they'd see me for me, not there imperfect daughter that they have to be consciously aware of 24/7.

"Why don't you give Fran a call, you haven't seen her in a while" he patted me over the should trying to encourage me.

Franchesca, was my best friend she was abnormally loud with gothic straight black hair and seductive blue eyes. we had always been extremely close, almost liek sisters, well that was until i told her i destructive cancer came into the picture and ever since then it's killed me to slowly watch her drift away first not returning my calls, then dodging me in classes and then there was just nothing, i never saw her and at the off chance we did see eachother, i was oblivious to her. I guessed not to stop her, i didn't want to put her through the same tragedy i had to cause thats another cancer perk is that it doesn't just destroy you but it destroys the people you love too.My dad had quietly made his way out my room without me consciouly aware of him leaving. i rolled over my bed and stared at my cell phone, Minutes went by until i eventually picked it up and punch Fran's number into my phone, "Okay Here it goes" i whispered to myself.

"Fran It's me..yeah Esther, I was wondering if you had plans this weekend?"

Silence.

"I was thinking of going to the mall and then we could rent a movie or something?"

"Can we do it Saturday ?" She replied cold as ice

"Em Uh-hu"

"Fine i'll pick you up 10am"

"yeah that's...." The phone went dead, all I heard is the lifeless buzz that ran through the speaker.

That night i listened to the wind singing and the tree dancing to it's tune, i had my blanket covering only my legs, my soft silk pyjamas clinged to my skin on the warm spring night, I didn't feel like sleeping, i never did, i hated having so much time to think, think of me, think of my surrounding. it was too hard to wake up everyday thinking i'm only sixteen and i have barely lived my life and yet in a matter of seconds it could be taken away just that easily.

I pushed the doors open and walked out onto my warm floored porch, i sat in my rocking chair which was placed in the corner under a old holly tree which i used to climb when i was younger.

My blanket was now wrapped around my shoulder as i hugged my knees.

The rest of the night passed in a blur, I read books, i listened to music i tried everything in my power to keep myself awake but eventually i have to give in to natural needs and sadly that means sleep. 

The next morning came quicker than i had expected, I brushed my teeth and lounged about but i new that time would come soon enough and i would have to face my fears ( or at least one of them ) My best friend, If i was completely honest i was scared, I don't want to do this and if i could, i'd bail within seconds of debating the matter but i couldn't be selfish I had to keep my parents believing that one counciling session was more than enough, if they new i that i really had no friend seeing as Fran has basically blocked me from her world i would be at Dr. Freeman's more than i would be at my own home.

"Say 'goodbye' to your dad before you go" he said with somewhat of a childish tone. I was never one for big soppy goodbyes or dramatic tears but i had to keep reminding myself that this isn't about me and i had to just go where the wave lead me.

"have a safe trip" I said with a bright smile

"Looked after your mum while im gone" he said and kissed me, so softly on the forhead that you'd think i were made of glass.

I huffed.

We stood at the bottom of the drive while dad drove of into the mere distance of the end of the street, It wasn't till i'd realise i was standing in the middle of my yard that Fran was shouting impatiently for me to get in her small dark red car that half the time wouldn't start.

"Oh yippee" i whispered to myself sarcastically.