My Last Day Standing

Chapter 4

A new day brings a new story, I wish this could be true but if i keep following the path i'm walking it will never bring me  a new story. It's Tuesday May 3rd and i'm lying inmy hammock on my old wooden porch under my holly tree. I'm doing nothing, just sitting staring into the oblivion, my blanket in wrapped loosely around my shoulders with a book ( which i haven't even bother to read the name of) sits half open on my lap. The wind slowly starts to pick up blowing the fallen holly leave to dance on my porch, though i still havent even bothered to move It's not even dark yet, I can see the sun falling out the corner of my eye, all of the colour merging together until only one colour is visible through my peripheral vision.

"Esther" My mum shouts with her high pitched voice "Time to go, hun"

I force my eye's to close and focus on only one thing, the only one thing that keeps me from falling. It stops me from loosing my mind all together.

I'm lying in a meadow of flowers all different types of plant species with grass threading through my hair, the sun shone so brightly and the sky was cured with no infection on black or grey clouding. It was peaceful and bloodless there was nothing that surround my with any touch of darkness, It was my hiding place it was where i went where no-one could follow me. It was me and only me.

My eye's opened with no control

"yes, I'm coming" i barely shouted. I opened out of my cocoon and walking back into my sun lit room, i sat on the edge of my bed and slid on my black chuck taylors, Lifted my swamp green jacket that didn't match anything i wore and looked into my full length mirror. I saw long brown hair tangled at the ends with a creamy brown long sleaved top and blue jeans, I looked horrendous !!!

I lazily trailed down the couple stair to the ground floor of our mediocre house, because my the cancer being in my bones my parent were convinced to move to a bungalow so i wouldn't need to trail up and down stairs to get around the house but i refused to, i hate how everything has to be about me that the smallest things were the ones that harmed me the most that they wanted to move because they were sure that it would be to hard for me to walk up 5 steps to get to my own bedroom.

"I'm ready" I lacked excitement in my voice, normally i would have tried a bit harder to please them but today i was extremely pissed off and didn't even think twice about the effort it would take to seem happy about something i was positive that i would hate every second.

My dad drove twenty minutes in the Cadillac with my riding shot gun again silence was all he was getting. Every couple of seconds he would pier from the corner his eye to look at me, take a minute to think, open his mouth to say something and stop, i think it was the best for both of his that he didn't try to make human communication with me.

We gently pulled to a stop, then he broke the silence "Do u want me to come in with you ?"

I gather my bag a start getting out the car " No !" i said harshly "I'll see you at 6pm" and then slammed the door, To be honest i think i was over reaction, a lot but i was still extremely pissed at them no matter how much of a drama queen i'm being.

I sat in a small boxed room, The walls were a pale light green which is some way was calming. There was a square table in the middle of the room this three very old, very torn magazines and a vase with one dying flower. I was all alone in the room silence ran through  my ear drums. no one came into the waiting room and knowone came out the imfamous room i'd shortly walk into.

"Oliver Jenkins, Long time time no see" I hear the vague words of the desk assistant

"Yes, It's nice to see you to Sarah"  He had a very studious voice with a strong English accent, I pictured long blond hair and blue eyes, very skinny.  "You can go take a seat she'll be with you A.S.A.P" 

He walked through, he had one hand in his jean pocketand the other combing through his hair.

"wow" i coughed. He looked directly at me, now i don't normally meet guys like this, I'm sorry i don't really meet boys at all and especially don't see me and yet this one looked me directly in the eyes. He was exceedingly different then what i imagined and i don't mean like less hot the i had thought i mean so so much hotter than i'd pictured, Fair skin, hazle nut eyes light brown hair to match his hair, he was skinny but also hugely muscular in his flannel shirt that showed off everything every inch of his beautiful body. 

After a couple of extremely awkward second of us just staring at each other i decided to look away as it was probably really weird but he came and sat beside me and turned and looked at me. He waited for me to look at him before he said anything. My eyes slowly made my way over to his 

"Hi I'm Oliver Jenkins" He held his hand out in front of me, I slipped my hand into his and slowly we greeted eachother and i said

"Esther Danials, it's nice to meet you" I awkwardly took my hand back and glanced down to look at my feet. "How did you get dragged into this hell hole ?"

I thought this would be the kind of situation where he'd tell me his name and we'd sit there in eerie silence, after that we'd never see each other again. It would be as if this moment had never really happened. These four minutes would be wipped from time it's self.

Now i really really hated this place but i had never in the three years i'd been here described it as a hell hole, I looked away and giggled but when i looked back he was bring deadly serious. I wiped my smug, childish look off my face and thought about his question.

"It's a long story"  He was a really nice guy but i don't know if i was ready to lie my life on the table for him. Once he knew i was a lit up cancerous Christmas tree he wont want to come anywhere near me.

"Well I'm sure i can keep up"

Maybe he's right, i should just tell him, get it over and done with. I knew the drill, he's say 'oh i'm sorry' and i'd say 'it's okay, i'm okay' he'd say 'that's good' and that would be the last time i'd see Oliver Jenkins.

"You really want to know ?" I scrunched up my nose, I hoped he'd just leave it.

He leaned in closer to me "Yes, I really really want to know"

"Okay here it goes, I was diagnosed with a touch of bone cancer when i was thirteen, I've had chemotherapy twice but it didn't make much of a difference. Then at fourteen I refused any other surgicsl help. I hated being pocked and prodded with all the fancy medical equiptment. My doctor said then that i'd stopped all my treatments i wouldn't have an awful long time left and yet that was two years ago and i'm still fighting strong. They thought i wouldn't have lasted this long but here i am" I presented myself to him, my assurance in all that had been said was slightly intimidating. "Then after my parents forced me to come here and i have been for three years now and yet now ti have been told i need to go twice a week instead of once and i'm sinserly pissed off! and i'm not normaly this talkative but now you have me started and i have a lot to rant about!!!"

Breath.