Ticket Outta Loserville (Trames au)

Chapter 12-James' POV

I feel so bad right now. I honesty can't believe I said that to Tristan- he was trying to help me and take care of me, and then I go and ruin it by making fun of him to his face. I'm trying to laugh along with my friends, but I can't shake off the guilty feeling I have. It's weird- I don't even like Tristan and he doesn't like me, so why was he being so nice to me? Why was he the only one who went after me when I ran off?

Eventually, I can't bear it anymore, and I make an excuse that I need to leave to speak to a teacher. There's no way Ewan and Marcus will believe it, but I can't be bothered to worry about that now. Thankfully, I have a study period and I know for a fact that Tristan does too, so I'm hoping I can track him down and apologise for the horrible way I treated him. Sure, he annoys the hell out of me, but he was nicer to me than some of my actual friends, and I had no reason to be so mean to him.

Unfortunately, the bell rings and the hallways start to fill with people, which will make my search even harder. There's no sign of him anywhere, and in desperation I end up asking some kid called Callum or something who I know he's friends with. "Have you seen Tristan?" I ask nervously.

"Uh, no." the guy says. "Why?"

"I'm doing a project with him and I can't find him." I lie. "Do you have any idea where he might be?"

The guy shrugs. "I don't know. Music rooms maybe?"

"Ok." I say. "I'll go look there. Thanks!" I rush off to the music classrooms- I know Tristan plays drums, which seems an unusual choice for someone as quiet and awkward as him, but having said that I have no idea if he's any good or not. 

As I get closer, I hear crashing coming from one of the practise rooms. I peer through the annoyingly small window to see someone who looks awfully like Tristan hitting the drums really hard, like he's angry- which is totally understandable, I'd be furious if I were him. A teacher walks past and I pretend to be consulting the list of music lessons to find out when my guitar one is- a lot of people think it's weird that I play, but I love it- it makes me so happy.

Once the teacher is out of the way, I look in through the window again and thankfully Tristan is facing away from me so he won't think I'm acting weirdly, even though I am. After a while, the crashing begins to stop, but I feel my heart sink when I see him slide down against the wall and tuck his head in his knees- I just hope he isn't going to cry, I'd hate myself even more if he did. 

I don't think I'll ever forget the look on his face as I effectively betrayed his kindness- he looked horrified, embarrassed, shocked and sad all at the same time. I feel so bad for him as well as for myself, I'm so ashamed. All I can do is hope he accepts my apology and we can go back to us just disliking each other rather than him hating me and me feeling bad. 

I spot another teacher coming so I dash inside the building before they can start harassing me. At the moment, I'm completely torn as to what I should do- should I barge in to apologise? Does he need some space? Should I just leave him to it? Unfortunately, the music teacher walks in to disrupt my thoughts. "Hello Mr McVey!" she greets. "What brings you here?"

I shrug. "I was checking my lesson time and I decided to look inside. I haven't been in here since it was redecorated."

The teacher nods. "It's nice, isn't it?" I nod, secretly hoping that she'll go away. Thankfully, she soon does. I don't hate her, she's actually really cool, but I'm not in the mood to talk to her right now. I finally decide that maybe I should go and check on Tristan. The teacher probably didn't know he was there, as she would almost definitely ask why there was an upset student in a practise room. 

I'm trying not to draw attention to myself, but my heart breaks as I walk up to the room slowly and hear him let out a loud sob. This is almost exactly how he found me just 40 minutes or so ago, and before then he didn't even know I was gay- but a lot can change within just over half an hour. I think what's so surprising is that Tristan doesn't strike me as a crier- not when people laugh at him in PE, or when my friends are giving him a hard time.

Yet here he is, crying by himself and it's my fault. I'm seriously debating what to do- there's no way he'll want to see me, but equally I can't bear the thought of him crying alone. In the end, I think 'fuck it' and go in to check on him. I open the door slowly to see him curled up with tears streaming down his cheeks. He looks up as I walk in. "Hey." I say quietly.

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But what will happen next you ask? Tbh, I don't know, I never have proper plans for my stories 😂 Let me know if you enjoyed it though!

I can't believe that by the next update we might have president Donald Trump, Jesus that man scares me 😔