Ticket Outta Loserville (Trames au)

Chapter 22- James' POV

As I'm walking home, I'm kicking myself. Why did I say that I just wanted to be friends? It isn't true, and I think Tristan knows that. Having said that, he seemed quite happy about the idea of us being friends again and everything going back to normal, so maybe it's just me who needs to get a reality check- me and Tristan... it's just not going to happen. I wish it would though- I feel a real spark with him that I just don't get with anyone else. Trust me to get attached to someone that I can't have.

My heart sinks when I get to my house and hear shouting coming from inside. My mum and dad have been arguing quite a lot lately, normally because of me. I cause them way too much stress, as much as my mum promises me that it's my dad with the problem. Suddenly, he storms out the house, barging past me without even saying anything. Things have been rocky between us since I came out and he had a major meltdown. I mean, he didn't talk to me much anyway, but now he just glares at me occasionally. 

I let myself in and find my mum stood in the hall, sighing  heavily. "Hi darling." she says breezily as she hugs me, clearly trying to pretend that nothing happened. "How was school?"

I hug her back. "It was ok." That's a lie, and she knows it as well as I do. Thankfully, she doesn't question it. We sit at the kitchen table together, drinking tea as I tell her about my day, and eventually I ask "Can you give me some advice please?"

She takes my hand in hers. "It depends on what it's on. But I'll try."

I sigh, more at my own stupidity than anything else. "What do you do when a boy you like is crying then you kiss him, and when you make it up with him you say you want to just be friends even though you don't?"

My mum squeezes my hand. "That's quite a situation. Did this all happen today?"

I nod. "It's been such a weird week." It has- this time last week, I'd come out to Tristan and run out crying, and things eventually led to me sleeping in his bed, with so much in between. 

Luckily, my mum doesn't know everything that's been happening. "Is this that Tristan boy?" she asks.

"Yes." I sigh. "I like him a lot. It's weird, he's nothing like me, but..."

"Sometimes opposites attract." my mum says, smiling. "What is it you like about him?"

I have to choose my answer carefully, as I could go on for ages. "Well, he's kind and caring and funny, and he plays drums, and I just get along with him really well. It's hard to describe."

"You're all of those things too." my mum points out. "Is he a friend of yours then?"

I nod. "I sit next to him in a lot of lessons. I feel bad though, my friends give him a hard time. I try and stop them but they ignore me."

My mum sighs. "I know I say this a lot, but you deserve nicer friends. Alex is a sweetie, so is Scott, but most of them seem horrible."

"I know." I say quietly. My mum wraps me in her arms and just hugs me tightly. I feel safe in her arms, almost like it doesn't matter that I've fucked so much up. 

We sit in a comfortable silence for a while, her just stroking my hair and whispering to me that she loves me. Eventually she says "Baby, I know what your dad says, but you aren't worthless. You're beautiful, and I don't think you know that. Please don't let it all get you down."

I don't reply at first, and I find myself clinging to her. "What am I going to do?" I ask, sighing.

My mum kisses my forehead. "I know this is very cliche, but you need to talk to him. I think this needs a few days to calm down and blow over. Give yourselves some time to think about it, and then discuss it."

"I made this mess when I tried to talk to him today." I point out. 

"It's not a mess." my mum says firmly. "You'll sort it out. Give it time." To distract me, she gets me to help her prepare dinner. It does take my mind off things a bit, and as bad as it sounds, I feel much more relaxed without my dad being here. I don't know where he is, and to be honest I don't care. When my sister gets back from her sports club, we all end up having really chilled meal, and despite all the craziness and chaos in my life right now, I feel happy. Deep down, I know I'll sort things out- I'll just leave it until Monday. Right now, I'm just going to be happy.

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I don't know about you, but I can't believe we're on chapter 22 😂 Please vote and comment! I love reading comments, it makes me so happy 😆

I'm so excited for Christmas, anyone else? Though my school doesn't break up until Tuesday 😭