Collection of Essays

A prayer

Dear Lord,
I'm tired.
I find it hard to live under these circumstances I'm putting through.
There's this problem at school. A lot to do with the tuition. There's problem at house with regards to bills, foods and my parents.
Then, there's problem inside of me which is infested with fear, deep-seated insecurity, lurking jealousy and mudded hopefulness.
I thought it's relative that when you are good and you do good, you receive goodness in return.
But not for me, I guess.
I tried to be. But it's like somebody beyond me, scanned me and concluded,
"Nope. That doesn't look suffering yet. More!"
I know the line 'When the going gets tough, the tough must get going'. I know it sounds a Literary Awesomeness but... what exactly tough means? How do I realize I am tough? And when I'm not?
Am I being tough while penning this down, telling you my angst and desperation?
How will I know when it reaches you? By the manifestation of the things I want to happen? And when is that?
Oh no. You have all the right to remain silent. You need not answer that.
I know, anyway.
In Your time, right?
You make all things beautiful, in Your time.
And you know how much I bought that line, that idea.
Please Lord, help me be able to look it that way. May I endure this suffering I'm facing.
Love,
J