Psychotic

Chapter Eight

I let my head under the hot water moving my hands through my hair.

It's been a month sitting with Maria and playing with her,I can say that I'm dejected for being a mother for such an amazing girl like her.
A ballerina just like her mother,just hope she like doing that..not only doing it to be like me.

And Nick.He cares about me, respects me and my decisions and loves me.He's strong and brave ,but I just can't.
I can't force my heart to love someone,my heart doesn't have feelings towards him.

His mother also loves me and respects me as she told me that the woman that her son loves is loved by her as well.

The one that I don't feel comfortable with is his father.The way he looks at me,the way he talks..if he ever talked.It's like he's hiding something inside him.
He always sit alone doing nothing and cry.I always watch him cry and I sit beside him,he gives me a hateful look that I can't understand.

When I asked Nick about him,he told me that he's like that and he treats everyone in that way,but I feel like he didn't like me being a psychotic.
I just can't understand his thoughts!I just want to tell him that if he treated me in that way,I won't change!
It's something I can't control in it.

After a hot shower,I dressed up in my winter pjs that Nick bought me for Christmas.

I went outside and went to the kitchen and saw Nick's mother putting the food on the table,I ran to help her by holding the plates to the table.

"Feeling active?"She asked smiling.

"Yes"I lied holding the plate from her hand and putting it on the table.

Then I saw Nick's father from the window,sitting alone at the cold weather.

"Why is he sitting alone outside?"I asked as Nick's mother stood beside me arranging the folks and spoons.

"leave him alone,he likes that"

"but,Why?I also feel like he doesn't like me.Is there something wrong happened that I can't remember?"

"No,daughter.He's like that"
I nooded, but I still can't believe anything.

"Mom!Can you do my hair?"Maria came holding a band to tie her hair.

I looked down at her taking the band.
"Leave it without a band ,it's beautiful like that"

"Ok"She said smiling showing me her small teeth.

"I'm very hungry,when will we start eating?"Nick appeared saying looking at the food.

I stood looking at him trying to touch the food.I hit his hand surprising him.

"Don't!"I ordered giving him a fake serious look.

"I won't"He said smiling then pulled me in a hug and I faked a smile.
"Where is dad?"He asked breaking the hug and putting his arm over my shoulder looking around him.

"He's outside"I said putting my hands inside my pocket then he looked at the window leaning a little to see him.

"I'm going to get him"he said removing his arm.

"No,I will"I said walking to the door.

"Are you sure?"He asked.

"Yes,don't worry"I answered taking my coat and wore it and went outside closing the coat or wrapping myself with it as it was freezing outside.

"Hey"I said and he looked at me then took a breathe angrily and looked in front of him again.

"We're going to eat"I informed looking at him.

"I'm..not..hungry"He said slowly,His voice was rough, old, cracked and sad,it's like he was crying.
I sat on the wooden stairs looking at him sitting on a wooden chair.

I looked down remembering a memory,when dad died in front of me and hearing everyone hurting ,crying and screaming.

I looked at him and his eyes were red which shows that he was definitely crying.

"I was seven years old when dad died in front of me"I said looking at him.He looked at me then looked away.

"And I started imaging him alive,And when I was ten maybe ,my sister died and I took her character,I was two characters inside one person,but then I had knew that she wasn't my real sister "I said and he smiled looking at me in a silly way.

"Why're you telling me that?"He asked.

"Because,You treat me bad as I'm a psychopath"I said a reason.

"Martha,Have you ever had a strange dream?"He asked giving me a sharp look.

"Yes"I answered after seconds scared.

"What was the last one?"He asked with a daring look.
My heart beated faster and my tongue freezed,I didn't want to answer that!I killed a girl in my class,I made aunt go to the jail and she's innocent!

"Dad!Please,I'm too hungry!!"
I heard Nick shouting that made my body move again,I looked at the door as Nick was standing.

"Come on!"He said entering.
I stood giving Nick's father another look.He stood up giving me the same angry scary look.
He knows something!

I stood for seconds then moved slowly towards the door.

"Let's go"Nick said pulling me inside the house and closing the door.

When we were sitting and praying,we were giving each others some looks.
He was looking at me with a very sharp look that made my breathes higher and higher.

"God,please!I just want to be free" I said praying closing my eyes and hiding my face.