So Not How This Should Be

Chapter 6

I stared out my window at the rain poring down. It looked like a normal thunder storm. I saw something in the street but couldn't quite make it out. I craned my neck trying to get a better look but the rain was coming down in too thick of sheets.

Somehow I was now down stairs on my porch and whatever was in the street was gone. The rain was coming down so hard that the streets were beginning to flood. I felt a breeze and shuddered. Looking down I saw I was only wearing a thin white dress. Furrowing my brow I turned back around to go in the house but the door was locked. I banged on the door hoping someone would hear me. I looked over my shoulder at the now flooded streets. They had filled to about my thigh somehow in the past minute or two. I hit the door harder and screamed for someone to open it. 

Finally giving up I had no choice but to go into the water. It was beginning to slowly crawl up onto my porch. As I stepped into the water I screamed at how cold it was and the burning sensation it left my body feeling. I got out to the middle of the street and the water was to my hips, my thin dress pooling around me and sitting on top of the water. The rain was still pouring down in the heaviest sheets I had ever seen. My wet hair sticking to my face and the rain were mixing and making it difficult to see. 

I looked back at my house only to see that it was no longer there. Everything had disappeared. What used to be the streets of my neighborhood looked like a never ending body of water. Lighting struck somewhere and a loud crack following it. I took deep breaths scared of what was happening to me. Unknown anger was boiling up inside of me. Another flicker of light and a sound loud enough to shake the world set me off. I turned my head to the sky and lifted my arms and screamed in anger at the sky. 

My mouth was filling with water even as I screamed. The water was choking me and I still screamed. I couldn't stop screaming and I couldn't stop the rain water from filling my mouth. I couldn't breath out of my nose no matter how hard I tried. It was like I forgot how to breath. I felt as if I was drowning without being submerged. I screamed at the sky asking what I did to deserve this. The words sounding like I was under water, very distant and trapped. I struggled to say them as if they were choking me instead of the water. 

I clawed at my throat trying desperately to spit out the water. I made awful choking and gurgling noises trying to find a way out of the predicament I was in. I needed someone or something to save me. I pleaded in my head for someone to come and stop this. I began to become tired and gave up. Looking back up to the sky I accepted what was happening to me.

I was drowning with no way to save myself.

***

I stood in my bathroom looking at myself in the mirror. The dark circles around my eyes making my face look pale and sickly. My hair sticking up in different directions and my clothes damp with sweat. I felt disgusted with myself and quickly stripped and turned on my shower. I let the cold water wash over me. I shuddered as the feeling of the dream I had last night came rushing back.

I had read somewhere before that what you dream can represent events, people, or feelings in your life. I thought hard about my dream and the meaning of it. I felt as if I was drowning with no way out. That no matter how hard I tried I couldn't save myself, I needed a outside force to save me from drowning. 

I guess in my life I felt as if I was drowning, trapped trying to fight my way out. I needed an outside force to save me. Too bad there was no outside force. I was alone and broken. A girl trying to mend herself together with smiles and friends but ultimately failing. 

 After I finished my shower I put on my clothes and dried my hair. I walked down stairs and heard my parents talking secretively to each other. When I walked in they stopped and looked at me with worry that was soon replaced with smiles.