This book is all about my thought. Feelings. Things I think about, consider, and battle with. This contains all of my personal struggles, my personal demons that I fight on a day to day basis. I hope you enjoy it! Well, what are we waiting for? Let'...
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS PART 100?!?!?!??!?!? I can't! Thank you all so MUCH for 115 followers! It means so much to me, this is a huge milestone. Sure, it's nothing like having 1K followers, but it HAS to be a start! You all mean so much to me, thank you thank you thank you!
Now, I told you all at part 100 I'd post something big. Well, this may shock you... please don't judge this is a huge step putting this out for the world.
So, I'm coming here today to admit something.
I think I have a lowkey case of Schizophrenia. Yes, I hear voices. Occasionally, at first, but now it's gotten to they almost control me. It's kind of like personality disorder, too. I can sometimes become one of the voices, no matter how hard THAT is to believe.
And it's weird, hearing them all the time. It also can make it incredibly hard to focus. It's quite annoying, and frankly, it's pissing me off.
It's also scary, too. I'm literally hearing voices no one else can hear. I'm literally becoming people no one else can see. I've even named all my voices, no matter how weird that sounds, and I've pictured them each in my mind.
They can be nice, they can be mean, but most are just... plain cruel. They make me feel things even if I'm happy.
I used to be so happy, but they hated that so they got louder and louder, determined to ruin my day. My week. My month, my year... my life.
It's so unnerving, and I'm always on edge. I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff, teetering above a wide, vast chasm, and one push I'll fall to my death.
I'm on the edge of breaking down and no one's there to save me.
I feel like no one knows what it's like...
I mean, there has to be someone out there who understands what I'm going through, right? I can't be the only one who is experiencing this. And it could be because of my PTSD, or maybe my depression idk.
All I know is I'm different, and I don't like being different. Why can't I just be normal? Why must I have problems? It's... it's just... I don't know, it's just annoying and heartbreaking all at once.
I wish I was a normal kid...
But at the same time, I'm okay with being who I am.
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I may be insane, but I'll tell you a secret-- the best kind of people always are.
