The Book Of Retarded 1D OneShots

Louis- Magic Cookie

''Gurl. Imma take you places on this here magic cookie,'' Louis said gesturing to the magic cookie.

Yes bitch. That's right.

LouLou is the Aladdin to my Jasmine.

Be jealous.

Be very jealous.

He climbed onto the bigass cookie and I looked at him waiting for him to help me get on.

''You're just standing there. Get up here, you lazy arse!''

I climbed onto the cookie and it was so amazing!

We began moving in the air and it was soooo cool!!!!!!!

Some bird poop hit me on the shoulder and it was so funnayyy!!!

Well I laughed.

Louis gave me a cute insult.

He was so romantic! How many guys do you know would take their babygurl on a magic cookie ride!?

I started singing. ''I CAN SHOW YOU THE COOKIEEE! ALL THE MAGICAL COOKIESSSS!!!! A WHOLE NEW COOKIEEEE!!!''

''SHUT UP!!!!'' LouLou hollered and I said ''Kay babee. Kay!''

Suddenly I felt the cookie under my large, sexy ass shaking and I heard a cracking noise.

''Like whut da fawk is going on Lou?''

He just politely smiled

I felt myself plummeting to the ground.

The cookie had broken into half.

''YES IT WORKED!!!!!!!'' Louis screamed.

''LouLou save meeee!!'' I yelled while falling.

''Lul no. Bai!'' he replied.

''ELEANORRRRRR! The bish is gone!'' He screamed.

Then I died while I hit the ground.

I died a sweet, chocolate chip death.

And lived sweetly after ever.

Kinda.