The Book Of Retarded 1D OneShots

Niall- Jealousy and Cupcakes

''BUT LOUIS! I LOVE YOU!'' Niall screamed.

Harry rolled his eyes and Louis put his hands on his hips. ''Bish, I love Harry ok. Now go, so we can do sexxxxx!''

Niall ran out of the house as Harry dragged Louis into the bedroom.

''No one loves me!'' He cried to himself till he saw a bakery and decided to go into it.

''Vhat do you vant?'' The dude who resembled Hitler at the counter asked.

''I want a chocolate midnight, super choco chip, caramel drizzled, gooey centred, colour sprinkled, tastebud exploding, icing mountain cupcake please,'' he ordered then took a deep breath.

Niall took a seat and waited for his order to be ready.

Hitler- I mean, the dude at the counter, called Niall's name and he went to the counter where he was handed a bag.

''OHMYGAWD! This is a chocolate midnight, choco chip, caramel drizzled, gooey centred, colour sprinkled, tastebud exploding, icing mountain cupcake! I asked for a chocolate midnight, SUPER choco chip, caramel drizzled, gooey centred, colour sprinkled, tastebud exploding, icing mountain cupcake! YOU BASTARDS!''

Niall stormed out of the bakery upset. Everything was wrong.

The bakery mixed up his order!

And Nouis wasn't happening any fawking time soon!

He returned home depressed and sat on the couch.

''HARRY! DON'T STOP! OMG!'' He heard along with the bed shaking, creaking and hitting the wall.

He took his cupcake out of the bag and put it on the table.

''LOUUUUUUU! UHHH!'' Harry screamed and Niall began to cry hysterically.

He continued crying when he heard a squeaky voice. ''Niall. It's okay. You don't need them, you have me!''

He looked up! It was his cupcake!

HOLY CUPCAKE!

''W-what?'' He answered confused.

''You don't need Louis. I'm better than him. I can make you feel better,'' it said.

Niall nodded and asked what to do.

''Lick my icing!'' The cupcake said.

Niall agreed and pulled off the cupcakes' paper holder.

''OH NIALLLLLLLL!''

Niall licked the icing and eventually, the icing exploded in his face while the cupcake sighed.

''Now what? It's my turn!'' Ni eagerly said.

The cupcake began backing up towards the door leaving Niall confused.

''I-I thought we h-had something special!'' Niall cried for the millionth time today.

''I don't do relationships. Sorry!'' The cupcake said then left.

''IM SO ALONE!'' Niall screamed then continued crying.

Harry screamed again, ''OHMYGAD LOUUUUU!''

This only made Nialler cry more.

(I got this idea when my cousin was drunk and began talking to a cupcake and then I just added stuff and made it better! Did you like it!)

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