Painted In Black... (Reverse Dipcifica Fanfiction)

Chapter 16 - Hospitalised

I sit there, rocking back and forth in my chair.

It's all my fault... It's all my fault.

I had bitten my nails down to almost nothing, and my cheeks were stained with tears, which were still cascading in steady streams down my cheeks.

It's all my fault... It's all my fault.

On occasion, I would glance at him, the wires and pipes fed through him, his eyes remaining shut and his body still.

It's all my fault... It's all my fault.

The only thing that reassured me was the steady beat of the heart monitor.

It's all my fault... It's all my fault.

"Madam, visiting hours were over half an hour ago, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." A nurse cooed from behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I swallowed hard, the tears were still trickling fast down my cheeks.

"C-can I just have 5 more minutes..?" I uttered, the lump in my throat choking me, limiting my flow of words somewhat. "I'll leave straight a-after, I promise."

"Okay, I'll be back in 5 minutes to check, sweetie." I felt her hand lift from my shoulder, then the door open and close.

I flung myself into Dipper's arms, letting my chest erupt with sobs, and I kept uttering two words over and over. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

After about 3 minutes, I decided I wasn't going to leave. I couldn't. I needed to be here for Dipper. Whatever it took.

I crawled under his sheets and snuggled myself into him, careful not to disrupt his peacefulness or his wires. His warmth against me was comforting, and reassured me. So much that I even managed a tiny smile. I closed my eyes, with the comfort of knowing he was right there beside me.

***************

I awoke to find a hand stroking my hair gently, the summer morning light just seeping through the window, the beautiful sunrise before me.

Wait, a hand stroking my hair?!

I looked up to see that dazzling smirk of his. I immediately clutched his torso tightly, smiling purely, never ever wanting to let go. Ever.

He chuckled, his voice cracked and weak. He couldn't move more than his arms, but at least that was something. And something was everything to me.

"I'm sorry..." I told him. "It's my fault that you're here..." I could feel the tears building up again.

"No. It's mine." He began. "I'm the one that took you away from him. You were everything to him, and I stole that. And then I fought for you. He didn't know that he was going to turn into what he did. And I was foolish enough to let him destroy me, rather than take us somewhere safe." He sighed.

"I guess we're both to blame." I told him, laughing a little. He kissed my forehead lightly.

"I'll be healed and out of here in no time."

************

A few weeks later, Dipper had managed to convince the nurses that he was well enough to come home. As happy as I was to see him healed and okay again, every time I look into his deep brown eyes, I feel a pang of guilt run through me.

If you screw up a peice of paper, you can flatten it out as much as you like, but the creases will always be there. Forever.

In this instance, I am that peice of paper. The boys sure screwed me up good and proper, didn't they?