I Can't Place It

through bad religion

You speak to me through blasphemic lips, and I kiss them goodnight with mine.

•
//Phil

We're seniors in high school, and you've been going on about the prom for weeks. You want to make sure that we're matching, and that everything is perfect.

I couldn't care less about that dance. I really only went because I wanted to make you happy.

I tried to tell you that day while you were fussing over your hair, that you were more beautiful than any person who was going to be there.

You scoffed and said that I was cheesy before forcing me out the door. I still loved you.

You wanted to look better than everyone else. You wanted to dance better than everyone else. You wanted to be the queen of the whole dance.

You never really liked dresses despite what a lot of people thought. Sometimes you wore a skirt, but dresses you said were just weird feeling and you didn't like wearing them. So, you were dressed in a white suit, with white skinny jeans, with a black tie, and white flower crown. I was dressed in a black version of your outfit without the flower crown. You wanted a theme between us.

It was actually kind of nice. To dance with you. I felt like maybe we were actually a couple. You talked to me, and we joked and laughed that night.

When it came down to King and Queen; we won. King and King.

Everyone had erupted in cheers as we were announced, and made our way up to the stage. It was sort of amazing.

You looked so good under those lights. You were laughing and hopping around, so excited to have won. I removed your flower crown, and put a little golden plastic one on top of your head. You did the same for me, and wrapped your arms around my neck. You looked like a prince. My prince.

"Phil, can you believe it!? We fucking won! The first homosexual couple to have ever won! We made history! God, I love you so much, Phil. I love you so fucking much."

I thought I was hearing things. You rarely told me you loved me first. I was just excited to say, 'I love you too.'

I wish I would've known then the only reason you said it, Dan. It was a heat of the moment thing, wasn't it? You only loved me when I made you more popular. You wanted everyone to know your name, and you went down in history so no one could forget it.

That's all you wanted from our relationship.

Power and praise.

And you're beautiful Dan, but you're not a God.