I Can't Place It

even when this world disapates

You left your footsteps in the snow after you left. I followed them right back to you.

•
//Dan

Angie's favorite word to call me after you left was pathetic. She said I was spending too much time loathing over myself, and working, and that I looked gross and poor.

I snapped at her finally after months of her bringing me down. I yelled at her, and basically blamed her for everything. I know that it was mostly my fault, but she was making me so angry. She slapped me, and said that I was a 'self-centered whore.' After that day, we never spoke again.

An eighteen year friendship meets it's end.

But I was so much happier. I was twenty-four, and things weren't too bad. Hattie was a nice old woman who owned the flower shop I worked in closer to town. You remember Hattie, right? She used to feed us when we were struggling to afford it. She was probably the only person who kept me feeling happy when you left.

She died, Phil.

I thought my whole world was going to end. How was I going to survive without Hattie, or my job? I was over. But then some snazzy lawyer called me up. I swear Hattie is a miracle.

I found out that she had left me her shop. I was not only going to have a job, but an entire business.

Dear Daniel,

If your reading this, I kicked the bucket...which is sad to think about, but it happens to all of us eventually. I know you're probably shocked that I left you that shop. Hell, probably got your mouth hanging to the floor. But you talked so much, and sucked so much willy I bet you're used to having your mouth open, ain't ya boy? Aw, don't gawk at me now because I know ya are, I'm just joking with ya.

You were kind of an asshole when I first met ya. That isn't even a joke. You were so full of yourself I'm surprised Philly had enough room. Joking again. But after...after he left...you were like the son I never had. I ain't ever seen a boy change into a young man so fast. You started working harder, and were so much nicer to everyone around ya. I'm not saying that it's a good thing Philly left. I'm just saying I think you've really improved ever since he did.

But promise my dead self something now...promise me you'll try to talk to him again, alright? That boy truly loved ya, Daniel.

Love,
    Ol' Hattie cakes

I probably read that note over and over. I could still hear her voice in my head everytime. It was short, and didn't even give me a hint on how to run that place, but I think she knew I'd figure it out.

Everything was good, Phil.

Except, I couldn't stop missing you.