Take large objects on the train with you.
Sing songs. Start a round with everyone on the train.
Eat onions and garlic and talk to the people next to you.
Sell stuff.
Stand in front of the doorway and glare at people when they try to get by.
Yell to your friends at the other end of the train.
Make fun of other people while they are in hearing distance of you.
Ride the train while drunk. Extra points if you throw up.
Constantly ask people for directions.
Ask people where they are from.
Ask people where they are going.
Quiz people on the meaning of life.
Start a game of poker. Extra points if it's strip poker.
Start a game of tag. Extra points if it's strip tag.
Start a game of twister.
Use a cell phone. Talk loudly.
Turn your headphones up to 120 decibels and then complain loudly that they just don't make headphones loud enough anymore.
Shake off your umbrella on the people sitting down.
Shake off your hair on the people sitting down.
Ring out your shirt on the people sitting down. Even on days when it's not raining. Make them wonder where it all came from.
Ring out the shirt of the person sitting next to you.
Bring a pet. Preferable a rattlesnake. Without a cage.
Juggle eggs.
Juggle knives.
Don't take a shower for a month.
Stick your feet way out into the aisles when sitting down. Extra points if you're wearing clown shoes.
Tell the people your problems. They really want to know.
Start line dancing. Even when there's no music.
Use the shoulder of the person next to you to take a nap.
Use the shoulder of the person next to you to blow your nose.
Use the shoulder of the person next to you to cry.
Have deep philosophical conversations about belly button lint.
Play an accordion for money. Make people pay you to stop.
Jump up and down muttering "gotta go, gotta go" then frown and say "oops."
Use pennies in the turnstile.
Where a Burger King crown and tell everyone that they must bow before royalty. Hit those who don't.
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How To Annoy People: Ultimate Guide
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