No One Else Like You

(3) Closer

"This is so interesting!" Exclaimed Rhea my best friend from college. She had graduated with me but did not choose to work. She was now married and was one of the people who I confided into. She was also someone who helped me through a lot during the divorce and before it, when I was miserable. "He still loves you, you know."

"No, you don't know how he is. He probably just wanted to see if he could still make me weak like he could before."

"Weak? How?"

"Well.." I wandered off in my thoughts. How do I explain this? "Let's not talk about this. The point is his grandmother said her dying wish is that we try one last time."

"Try to get back together again?" She asked and got us wine from her minibar. "What did you say?"

"What can I say to someone who is dying?"

"You said yes?"

I nodded. "She has given us the keys to her house and wants us to live there. I don't know she thinks it will help us if we do everything from scratch."

"So you are going to move back again? With your ex-husband?" She said and her eyes gleamed with mischief. How can she find this even a slight bit exciting? I haven't lived with him for months now and now we are going to have to share the same roof. We can't even be in the same room without an argument breaking out.

"Aman said he was not very happy about his grandmother's decision either. So just for her sake, we can just pretend we are living together. The doctor's have given her a couple of months so till then we can live together and then we can go our separate ways." She had even asked his entire family to keep an eye on us. Clever granny, that's why she wanted us to move to her place. Most of his relatives were nearby. In fact, his cousin lived just a floor above.

"So he doesn't want to try either?"

"No, I guess."

"Good for you both, then."

I was serious about not trying. I did my share and it did not work. In the end, for him I was someone who was always arguing and I was always suspecting him of something. How can two people like that work it out?

Of course, it hurt really bad. I had spent seven years with the guy with the hope that we could be together for the rest of our lives. But it was time for both of us to move. It pinched a little that he did not want to try either, though.

**

The fact that I was going to move in with Aman soon would not go easy on my closest friends because they had seen how miserable I had becoming during the last few months of our married life. So I was keeping this a secret, especially from Kartik, because he had become really protective of me. Just my mother, sister and Rhea knew it.

So as I was having drinks in a nearby bar with my friends, I did not tell Sara and Anidhi, my friends from work that I was moving in with Aman again.

"I think what you need is a rebound. A distraction," my friend Sara said. "If you have someone to date around with, it would be good for you."

Good for me? "Yes, what about that Kartik? That guy always looked like he had a thing for you," Anidhi piped in.

Great. My friends were suggesting me to start dating again. Seven years, I had spent with one guy. Now it just felt weird trying to even imagine being with someone else. Aman is literally the only man I had ever been with. He was the only one I properly dated and well, got physically affectionate with.

The weirdest part was, I feel like I have a very shameful imagination. If he was really mad and his expression was all cold and distant, I was turned on. If he was high and was doing stupid things, I was turned on. If he was just being caring and just wanted to hold me and sleep, I was turned on.

The only time that I wasn't turned on by him was when he used to be all sweet and cheesy. There is definitely something wrong with the wiring in my brain. Hats off to the man for even spending seven years with me.

Now he will find someone else. He did not belong to me anymore. Someone else will kiss him, hold his hand. Someone else will hug him. Someone else will...

Just the thought was killing me. Maybe they were right. Dating someone else will take my mind off Aman.

I had to move on. It is not like no one else could love me. Divorced people remarry all the time and I'm just thinking about dating, having fun and well, some sort of distraction.

Do you need me to me to pick you up?

Aman texted. We were moving in to his grandmother's place tomorrow.

No, I have a car remember? Will come by.

Good. See you.

While, this was going to be hard on both of us. Living together after so long, it was the least we could do. We did not even tell his grandparents that we were divorcing. I am sure he broke the news after we were done signing the papers. They would have never let us go through with it. They were old-school and divorce was like the end of the world to them.

"Let us order another round." Anidhi announced and then asked the bartender for another round of drinks for us. "The best way to get over a man? Get drunk!"

"No that is like the best way to get into bed with a man!" I said, perplexed.

"Come on! We won't cross the limit."

"Alright."

I knew we were going to cross the limit.