You Must Understand

Association

Wake up. Eyes open. Sit up. Can't speak. Turn left. Wall. Turn right. Mirror. Look forward. Bars. Lie down. Sleep.

Wake up. Eyes open. Sit up. Don't speak. Look forward. Breakfast. Eat. Turn left. Mark the wall. Turn right. Notice; sink, toilet, shower. Look forward. Bars. Lie down. Sleep.

Wake up. Eyes open. Sit up. Don't speak. Look forward. Lunch. Eat. Stand up. Wait. Bars open. Start walking.

Notice, my beginning schedule has not changed with the opposite cell being occupied. As predicted, Axe is not at my station. The rest of the wing is here. No one is talking, everyone is working at their own pace. Because of this station my upper body strength is now stronger than my lower body. We are permitted to use an axe. An axe that can kill someone. Wing three would never work at this station. Nor would wing five.

There are more Guards than necessary. More than usual. Something has happened to cause an increase in security in my wing. In the communal area there is also an increased security for wing nine. Not for wing five. Wing nine and wing one have curiosity and uncertainty in common. My wing are forbidden to speak, we can never ask questions and are therefore uncertain. Inmates can sense differences as well as shared attributes. This makes us more approachable to them as opposed to wing five.

I'm being analytical. I haven't worried about what has caused this new situation. Tomorrow it will most likely be back to normal. No explanation. Each time I describe to you a situation, your understanding becomes better and worse. By the end of this, you will have learned that most of this understanding is not important, so long as you abide by the regulations.

Wake up. Eyes open. Sit up. Can't speak. Turn left. Wall. Turn right. Mirror. Look forward. Bars. Lie down. Sleep.

Wake up. Eyes open. Sit up. Don't speak. Look forward. Breakfast. Eat. Turn left. Mark the wall. Turn right. Notice; sink, toilet, shower. Look forward. Bars. Lie down. Sleep.

Wake up. Eyes open. Sit up. Don't speak. Look forward. Lunch. Eat. Stand up. Wait. Bars open. Start walking.

I'm being directed to a different station. I am not worried, worrying would not help. I recognise this station. Axe is here. I committed a strike. After you've been in Rehabilitation once, only one strike is needed for you to be sent back.

I am hung up by my wrists. Axe is the torturer. He seems hesitant but not enough to be stupid. He whips me until directed to stop. I do not scream nor pass out. Make of that what you will. One of the Punishers walk forward.

"You are not permitted any form of communication by writing or speaking. You may acknowledge and associate. This is your strike. Do not make it a crime"

The Punisher retreats. Axe continues.

This is my schedule for the week. Then I'm back to my usual station. If I commit the same strike twice more it'll become a crime and my station will be Rehabilitation for a year and I may be restricted from acknowledging and associating. A difficult task that I would have to become accustomed to.

I may be experienced but I still lack experience. Survival is not easy nor is it simple. The rules can change, you must notice and adapt. The rules might become harsher or unenforced, that does not count as a change. Harsher rules are not new rules, unenforced rules are still present, they serve the purpose of catching you out.

I mentioned reasons. Reasons for you being here. My reason is I delved too deep, knew too much. I no longer know what I knew. I do not know the knowledge that got me in this mess. If you are in wing one, you most likely do not know. For if you knew, you'd be too powerful. In other wings, knowing might benefit the Organisation. You are permitted some of your previous knowledge.

The year is 2024. What I once knew, what got me in this situation, may already be public knowledge. Perhaps I made it public. This sentence is not to stop me from doing something, it is to  punish me for what I have done. That is the situation of wing one inmates.

After wing nine, I lost purpose, emotion and will. If I had emotion, I would not have survived. If I had purpose and will, I would not be here. I chose to be sane and a prisoner. I must reiterate that you still have choices. However slim and bad they may be. There is not much to say on the topic of choice. I have already tried to manipulate your choices multiple times. Even if you believe you are doing something different to me and therefore making your own choice, having read what I have written, the manipulation is still in effect.

Topics I have come across are; knowledge, acceptance, understanding, choice and survival. I repeat that you must adapt and not fixate. Think for yourself, what is the purpose of me writing this? What am I really telling you and why?

I mentioned the likely situations as to how you are reading this. I already know the exact situation. You should as well. You will know my story. We are associated. You will forget it once you start to learn your own story. My story is past, you should not fixate on the past if it will not push you forward.

Do you understand?