Boycotting Blue

21/Lou

Lou

“Lou!”

    I kept stomping forward. I didn’t need Blue. I didn’t care if it was cold outside, or that I was sure I wasn’t walking in a straight line. I would make it home. Blue could suck it. Big time.

    “Lou! Slow down! Por favor,” he begged, running to me.

     My boots were not running shoes, but I tried anyway. I tried to escape him, but it didn’t matter. He caught up to me easily. His hand reached out and he steadied me. I shot him a dark look. “What? You’re tryna get me killed too now? You wanna go tell your big bad daddy that I deserve to die to?” I snapped, pulling away from him. My legs were freezing.

    A flash of pain went through his eyes. “Lou, I—“

    “No. I don’t wanna hear it, Blue. You said you didn’t wanna talk to me after today. Well, I’m gonna make it a bit easier and not talk to you today either! Will that make you happy?” I shouted. “I mean, as long as Blue is happy, we’re all happy. The minute somebody who loves him gets upset he’s doin’ stuff to get him in trouble, it’s a problem. God forbid somebody actually—“

    “You love me?” he interrupted.

    Yes. I gave him a dark look. “Why? You gonna kiss me and run away again?” Not that I would mind. “Stop all this bull shittin’ around, Blue. Either you want me as a friend, or you want me out of your life. I’m not your baby doll. You’re not gonna pick me up when you’re bored and toss me to the side because it’s too ‘dangerous’ to be seen playin’ with baby dolls, got it?”

    “I never played with baby dolls.” He smirked.

     I couldn’t help it—I blew up on him. “Blue, I swear for all that’s good and holy in this world, I will stab you in the damn throat! Listen to me!” My hand came across his face, slapping him. “Be real with me for ten seconds, that’s all I ask. Do you, or do you not, want me in your life? You have five seconds to answer otherwise I’m makin’ the decision for you.”

   He opened his mouth to answer, then snapped it shut.

   Fine. That was all the answer I needed anyway.

   I turned on my heel to walk away. I didn’t need to stay there and deal with him. If he couldn’t get his life together, it wasn’t my place. I had bigger fish to fry, better things to do. Blue was no longer my problem. As my grandma always said, I was “washing my hands with him.”

   I could still hear him following me, though. I kept my chin up. For once, I no longer felt the urge to cry. I just wanted to punch something. Preferably him.

    “You know, Lou, I wanted to answer that I wanted you in my life,” he said from behind me. I didn’t answer him. “Fine, don’t reply. We have another half a mile or more for you to listen to me, chica.” He sounded way too amused for my angry mood.

     He continued, seemingly oblivious to me being upset. “I really want you with me. All day. Every day. But you took one look at me and then decided I was bad news. I saw the way you looked at the drugs, then at me. You looked like I had killed your damn dog.”

    “You lied to me,” I told him, despite my promise not to speak to him again. I stopped and waited for him to catch up to me, just so I could chew him out, face to face. “You lied to me and told me you would never do that again. And you did.”

    “You don’t understand the gang life, Lou. When Rodriguez came back, I had to do it.”

    “Uh-huh,” I agreed. “Then you should’ve told me that from the beginning. My sister died because of a stupid lie, do you understand? She committed suicide because of a lie. If you lie to me, you kill every good thought I’ve ever had about you!”

    He looked surprised. “You have a sister?”

    “Had.” I glared at him, like it was his fault. But I was still angry, and I had no idea where her rapist had went to, so I had to take my anger out on someone. “It’ll make two years since she’s been dead tomorrow.”

   He reached out to touch me, but I flinched away from him. “Lou, I’m sorry.”

   “Save it. Sorries won’t bring her back.” I started to walk again, but he grabbed me, turning me around. “What? You wanna fight again? I’m all for that. Let’s throw some punches this time, too!”

   He shook his head. “You’re upset with me.”

   “No shit, Sherlock.”

   He sighed, taking his hands off of me. “I don’t know what to say, Lou. I really don’t. You don’t understand how hard it is for me to put you in danger. Anything could happen to you if the wrong people see us together. You deserve another chico. A safe one.”

    I took a deep breath to measure my words before I admitted something I really didn’t want him to know. “You act like I’m askin’ you to marry me, Blue! I want to be your friend, you damn half-blood. Or maybe you don’t understand my English. Tu amiga. Nothin’ more, nothin’ less. I’m not askin’ you to kiss me in the mornin’ and afternoon or when we see each other. I’m not askin’ for commitment—I just want a friend that jokes with me and protects me from bullies! Mierda! Is that so damn hard to comprehend?”

   He stared at me long and hard before dropping his mouth to mines. His warm lips were firm and warm on top of mines, and a warmth spread from my face down to my toes, which curled inside my boots. Pull away, my head warned, but my body was on a completely different page because my hands wrapped into that ponytail, pulling him closer. My body curved into his, and he pressed me up against the nearest tree.

   CODE RED, my brain shouted, sending off warning sounds as our tongues met.

    I lost myself to Blue, just enjoying the fell of his hard body beneath mines.

    He pulled away too soon, leaving me swooning and confused. “You can’t kiss me every time we argue!”

    “Bull shit, chica. Why do you think I start arguments with you? You look so damn pretty when you’re angry.” He smiled, keeping me pinned against the tree.

    “Yeah, whatever. But this isn’t solvin’ anything.”

    He blew out a deep breath. “How about we stop tryna fix la problema, and just go with the flow?” His husky, accented voice definitely made me want to forget the problems.

  But I prevailed, despite my hormones. “How about no? See, you’re gonna walk away from me, and I’m still gonna be mad tomorrow. And the day after that. And we’ll keep arguin’ until one day we both say the wrong thing and never speak to each other again. You need to give me an answer.”

    He didn’t, though. He bent his head down and kissed me again, a lot more gentle this time. It was quicker, ending sooner.

   “What was that?” I demanded.

    He smiled. “Your answer.”