Rant Book

Chewing

Oh dear

Have you ever sat with someone, eating some good food and then it happens.

You hear it.

That sound,

Of them chewing.

I know some people are like, "I don't understand, it's just chewing! You do it too."

And yes I do chew, because I don't just inhale(usually) my food, that would hurt.

But at least I close my mouth

Can't they hear it? Or feel it? What if the food falls out? That's even worse! Please close your mouth when you chew because I may stand up and walk away until you're done with you sweet looking burger. 

And it's get worse because you can't really tell them, "Dude shut your mouth, you're going to make me puke." without sounding like a complete jerk. You don't want to hurt their feelings or make them uncomfortable because then it's really awkward and no one really likes awkward situations.

See if you do this wonderful thing, it is possible to stop this horrifying tragedy of becoming slightly sick from someone's open mouth chewing by simply closing your mouth.

Unfortunately, many people don't know this life saving hack.

WHY DON'T THEY

[This one's short but it's  start!

I'll take any suggestions!]