Chase's Book of YT One-Shots

Playing Pretend (RoyalChaos)

The game was exhausting and painful, but neither would ever be the one to end it. Steven knew this, even if Anthony may not have, and it haunted him.

Every smile sent his way and every laugh he sent back; every hug and playful shove; every tease and flirt, was like a knife being stabbed and twisted deep in his chest. Often times, it left him breathless and cold. More than that, it filled him with confusion, and he waited for the day Anthony might say something to change it.

He'd been waiting for a long time now.

His head was a fog these days, with college classes for his new major and calculus 3 consuming his entire being. YouTube was and would always be his escape, his stress relief, somewhere to let go.

Skype loaded onto his computer. Anthony was online.

He stared at the green circle next to his best friend's name, contemplating a reaction, considering what he wanted to do. The answer was obvious, he was going to give Anthony a call like he did pretty much every few days. It was inevitable, but there was always this waiting period. A few moments of time where he gathered himself, pretended he had another option; and once he'd accepted it, time to prepare himself for the game once more.

A pop-up appeared on his screen and he froze.

Anthony had called first this time.

A disruption in the game, no matter how small, always threw him through a loop. The game was delicate, any wrench in its order may topple it. His hand grew clammy on the mouse, the other brushing through his slightly too long hair (in need of a hair cut, he somehow managed to note amidst the overwhelming presence of his racing heart). Steeling himself and his nerves, he clicked to accept the call with a bit more hurry than was necessary.

Chilled was tired looking, but that was to be expected when the man had a sleep schedule as fucked up as he did. As they both did. He looked bored too, but the light that entered his eyes when Steven appeared on the screen was enough to make the younger almost jolt.

Even if something was different today, that didn't mean they hadn't had practice with this very same scenario. So Steven smiled easily in greeting, and looked down at his desk with a pencil raised, mimicking working on homework- as though he could concentrate on that. "Hey, what's up?"

Anthony shrugged, the sound coming through the speakers to enunciate it even when he wasn't in view. "You were online, figured I'd say hi. Unless you're too busy."

"Nah, just calc," Steven assured, raising his eyes back to the screen. "Like usual. We have a test next week. What kind of hellish professor gives tests in college?"

Anthony laughed, leaning back in his chair, though his gaze was sympathetic. "I'd help, but I didn't go above calc 2."

"You're useless to me," Steven deadpanned, and they both smiled at the tease. "How's Adam and everyone?"

"Busy," the older answered, the response the same as normal. "He's working on some kind of super secret project. Last time that happened, he got a tv show, and the time before that he produced a game. So who knows."

"He knows," Steven said bluntly, looking down at his papers like he was even somewhat interested in it. "I hope I can come back down soon for a visit."

"Rex'll want to see you," Anthony said, grinning, and Steven returned the motion.

"Not you?" he asked in turn, before he could think his words through. In the couple seconds of silence that followed, he didn't dare look up, holding his breath with worry that he'd put a hole in the framework of pretend with those two little words.

After what seemed like an eternity, Anthony's voice came through the speakers, a bit quieter than before. "Take a guess."

"Of course you'll want to see me, who wouldn't want to see me?" Steven's voice sounded a bit flustered even to his ears. He risked a glance up, and Anthony's expression was unreadable, the way it got when facade melted away. He took a deep breath, questioning if he should seize his opportunity or not- but again, Anthony disobeyed the rules of the game, and spoke first.

"Yeah, I'd really like to see you."

Steven's gaze was cautious, wary of where to tread, but fixed on Anthony's face. "... I'd like to see you too. I think I might come down in December. Maybe for New Year's, I don't know. Hotels are expensive."

"Stay with me," Anthony offered casually, but the insinuation was anything but. Steven breathed in slowly in a manner he hoped wasn't incredibly obvious, but probably was.

"... I don't want to intrude."

"It's not a big deal. I'd like having you around for a bit anyway."

That was the kicker, the one that poised the knife over his heart, like conversations like this always did. It always led to the same point, whether it was Steven's suggestion or Anthony's. Anthony's were rarer, and seemed to come with a much bigger kick when they inevitably fell apart.

Steven didn't even try to hide his breath this time, letting go of the facade for a moment and looking directly at Anthony on the screen, intense and suspecting. "Are you confessing something?"

That was the game.

It was expected, but it was no less painful than always. Anthony looked disgusted, though Steven knew the emotion wasn't directed at him as much as at Anthony himself, and it caused him almost as much hurt as the shake of the head. "Not yet."

Heavy tone or not, it was the end of this round.

Steven sat upright, schooling his expression into something more light, like what had just happened hadn't at all. "... I'll try to New Years," he promised, and hung up the call.

It had been a long time that they'd been playing this game, and he still didn't know who lost and won.