My Only Retreat

Hero

I tried to stay clear of Oli for the next few days to let my thoughts sort themselves out. I was so confused on whether that was rape or not? I mean I enjoyed it at the end but? My head and stomach was turning inside out. Everytime I tried to think about it, it made me sick. 

I wanted to someone to talk to but I couldn't talk to VIc and his fiance because they both would proably beat him up and my brothers are too young to know about sex. I had no one to talk to. I wish my mother was here by my side. 

I decided there was one place I could be with my mom again. I got some clothes, food from the fridge, and a blanket. I headed out to my mom's grave which was just a few blocks away from where the bus was parked. After the long walk, I finally reached my mom's grave. I lit some candles and place some flowers that I picked up on the way next to her headstone. 

"Mom, mom. I need some help." I waited for a response but I knew I wasn't going to get one. "Please don't be disappointed in me. I kinda had sex with Oli but he forced me into it." Still waiting for the response that won't come. Tears started running down my cheeks. "MOM I MISS YOU!" I yelled. I wanted her back with me now. I started crying even more. I have never cried this much since she actually passed away. 

I lay the blanket down and blow out the candles. I lay next to my mom's grave and just cry. I couldn't do anything else but cry. I couldn't control myself. I just wanted my mom to talk to. That's all I want right now. 

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Today's random song: Hero by Cherry Wallis 

Currently in love with this song. <3