Reputations

Chapter 18| A Chance

A/N: I just want to let you know that I ended up changing a character's name, mainly because (I forgot at the time) the character's name was someone that I actually know and they go to my school so I changed it.  What's weird is that I've known him for almost ten years, and I forgot he existed because I hadn't talked to him when I created the book, sorry man but you're irrelevant xD

It was also because I've seen so many movies/tv shows and books with that name and I found it really basic and I want this story to be more original. I never knew how common the name was until I started binge-watching multiple shows and I know maybe 8 different characters with the name. Like seriously? That's way too many in my opinion.

If you're reading this, I'm sure you probably wouldn't even know the name, mainly because I changed the name that was used in every chapter. The name is now Alton by the way.

This is a long author note, so I'm gonna just stop now so you can read the chapter xD

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Whatever happened yesterday is confusing as hell to me.

Every time I try to take my mind off of the kiss, I just think about it more. I can't get it off my mind. How it felt so right, yet so wrong.

I never really admitted this to myself until the kiss, but I think I like Alton (A/N: If you're confused, Alton is the new name for the character I changed, I won't say his old name, but he's the one that Sienna had the dare war with), and if he likes me what's going to happen.

I mean, I can't be in a relationship, I'm going to be on my death bed soon. I mean with all that I've heard about people who have my cancer, it's not going to be a surprise. If I let anything happen in between us, it would only hurt him. Which I don't want to do. I really don't want to hurt him.

Does he want us to be together? Do I?

Who am I kidding? I want to be with him, but I can't do that. Not when I'm sick anyway. I can't be with him, I just can't. So should I tell him?

Why am I so scared? This isn't that complicated. I can't be with him, so I just need to tell him.

Someone knocks on my bedroom door and I stand up to open the door finding Leo standing there.

"Hey Leo," I say sitting back on my bed.

"I know you don't like breakfast, but you need food. It's noon and you haven't eaten yet," he says placing a plate of scrambled eggs and toast on my nightstand and sitting next to me.

I sigh knowing he's right.

"Yeah I know, I've just been thinking," I tell him reaching for the plate and taking a bite of toast.

"You seem to be doing a lot of that lately, but you haven't been talking to us as much," Leo points out making me shrug.

"What do you want me to say? I mean, my life's been drastically changed and I just want to do something," I say my mind thinking back to the kiss. Will it change something? Will Alton still talk to me?

"Hey you okay?" Leo's voice says bringing me out of my thoughts as he lightly nudges me.

"Yeah I'm fine, just not feeling well," I tell him quietly.

"Okay, I'll let you rest," he says kissing the side of my head and leaving my room.

I sigh and finish the food he brought up. It'll make him feel better to know that I'm trying. I honestly don't know when everything changed. I mean, when I first found out, things became a little more.. overwhelming. Then it just grew. The stress.

I thought about everything, over and over and over again. Not like I could anything else, but I had so much that I had taken for granted, I guess my life has a new perspective. A very different perspective.

I lay down on my bed still in my pajamas. Feeling the need to do something. I get up and go to my closet. Finding some black ripped skinny jeans and a white crop top along with a baseball cap. I slip on some combat boots and put on a simple black leather jacket.

I grab my phone and slip out of my room through the window.

Jumping down to the ground I sneak around the house and run as fast as I can across the street and towards somewhere. I don't know where I'm going, but I need to do something.

I walk past a station where somebody set up a table and I smile when I read the sign.

Cancer Research Marathon Sign up and Donate!

"Would you like to sign up for the marathon? It's for cancer research," a lady at the table asks me.

"I'm in no shape for a marathon, but I like how you're helping everyone like me," I respond watching a young girl dropping some coins on the table as her mother stands behind her and smiles proudly.

"Of course, I'm sure you'll get through it, my mother did," she says with a proud smile of her own. "We're actually accepting volunteers, you could help us raise money. If you'd like to at least," she offers causing a big smile to form on my face.

"I'd love to!" I say excitedly. If I can't run a marathon, I can still help. I can help others, and maybe, I can even help myself.

The lady grabs a clipboard from a table and hands me a pen. I fill out the small form and hand it back to her.

"We'll get in touch," she says and I nod before waving and walking away.

Maybe this is what I need. A chance to actually help victims of cancer.