Reputations

Chapter 21| I'm Sorry

It's been almost two months since I've talked to Alton, and it's actually really bothering me. A lot.

I want to go look for him, ask him what's up and all, but I can't say that I haven't been avoiding him too.

None of the guys have pointed it out, which I know they've realized it, but it's weird.

It doesn't help that I can't get that flash of Alton's pained face out of my head. I know I saw it, even if it was for a second. I know he's hurt. I did that.

I hurt Alton.

Usually, I couldn't care less about this kind of stuff, but ever since I met Alton, everything changed. I may have picked fights and caused some arguments, but I can't say I didn't love it.

I may have been mean to him, and he may have been mean to me, but deep down I know neither of us meant anything by it.

Kind of like a friendly banter.

And I miss it. I miss Alton.

I've been in and out of the hospital a bit, but not as much as usual. Probably because the doctors and nurses have no hope. I'm basically already dead.

Leo has been trying to talk to me more, and I'm sure it's because he knows it's my end soon. My dad has been taking more days off to be with me. He's already missed a full week out of three and I fear it's getting to him.

"Hey Sienna," my brother says gently.

I open my eyes to see his droopy ones looking back at me.

I only now realize I've been crying. I quickly wipe my tears and sit up from my bed.

"What's up?" I say my voice ragged due to my dry throat from all that crying.

"I know everything's been pretty hard for you lately, but it's been worse and I know something's up. Are you okay?" he asks, sitting down at the edge of my bed.

"Leo, you know why. I'm not lasting much longer," I whisper.

He looks at me and I see his eyes water as he shakes his head.

"That's not true, the doctors say you're doing great and the treatment is working. It's something else," Leo tells me and I sort of don't want to believe him.

I'm getting better? That can't be true. I feel worse than I ever have. It's as if my brain doesn't want me to get better. Like after all this, I'm expecting to die. Not because I am, but because I want to.

"I can't do this," I tell him. "Being close to people and then breaking their hearts. It's not right."

Leo sighs and wraps his arms around me tightly.

"You're only breaking our hearts by breaking your own." He says quietly and I hear his voice cracking. "Don't distance yourself when there's so much hope. Don't hurt yourself when your life is turning around. The doctors say this is the fastest recovery they've ever seen. They think you'll be cured in less than 2 years."

Tears stream down my face and I hug him back tightly. "Thank you," I say as my voice cracks.

When he pulls away, my eyes widen.

"That reminds me, there's something I need to do," I say standing up quickly wiping the tears from my face and I grab my combat boots quickly and rush out the door.

Driving to his house I knock on the door and hear his heavy footsteps come to the door.

The door opens and I see his face.

He looks shocked to see me, then removes all emotion from himself. I did this to him. I ignored him for months and now I'm here without any warning. This is all on me. I need to fix this.

"I'm sorry," I say feeling like this was wrong and I should leave, but I need to do this. He deserves to know. I want to give him a chance. Give us a chance.

He stays still for a bit before quickly ushering me inside.

"You're shivering, come inside geez," he says and grabs my hand pulling me to the couch and throwing a blanket to me.

"You need to know something," I say seriously and I see him looking at me carefully.

He cares. He's listening. Now's the time for me to explain everything.

~~~~~~

A/N: Agh sorry for the cliffhanger, next chapter will be up very soon, that's a promise.

Sorry for such a long wait, I've been trying to focus more on my other book, but I thought this one deserved an update and I had good ideas so I went for it.

Hope you enjoyed! <3

-Sarah