Puppet {ManxMan}

CHAPTER 46

Things had calmed considerably since Jayden's death. Gale was doing better, Dakota seemed to be back to normal for the most part, Ian and Cass weren't fighting anymore from what I'd noticed, the entire settlement had fallen into this smooth moving routine. There was still this aching nervousness just beyond the veil of things, I would see people looking towards the perimeter anxiously, waiting for the Fer-de-Lance to appear, but it had been so long we were starting to doubt they were coming.

In fact, some people were even questioning if Rhett let him out at all. Maybe he killed him, or maybe he got out on his own and Rhett just took the blame. Hearing those theories made me laugh, because whenever people mentioned them they looked at me pointedly to try and make me feel guilty about ending his life. It didn't work of course. He deserved what he got, because even if he didn't let the Asper out, he still hurt Dakota.

That kind of thing didn't just go away; I could see the change in him. Even if he was relatively back to his old self, there was hidden strain to the way he stood, the way his eyes constantly flicked to the side when someone passed him in the hall or if someone was behind him. He was scared. Dakota was never a touchy-feely kid, but after the fact it became even worse. Now he couldn't even stand close to most people without fidgeting and inching away from them.

I was lucky in that aspect, Dakota seemed to trust me, and I was one of the few he wouldn't cringe away from if I got close to him. I found it ironic considering I was kind of an assassin and most of the rebellion was still nervous around me, but I also had to be happy that there was someone he could trust after being hurt so badly.

There were still bad days for me, days where my memories would overwhelm me and I'd be practically incapable of speaking. They were rare moments, but when they happened I was stuck. It wasn't safe for me to be around people when I was like that, so I usually confined myself to the room lying in bed trying to calm myself down. Kailas was always there with me, insisting I talk about it, so I would, and it did help.

I felt awful for making him carry the same burden I did, the burden and memories of what I'd done, what was done to me, I couldn't count how many times I'd made him cry when explaining some of the things Vinet and Rupert had done to make me submissive, but he was a constant and I couldn't appreciate it more than I already did.

Being able to share my life with him, even the bad parts, made me feel like less of a beast and more of a person. It connected us, and it made me more confident, because even knowing all the monstrous things I'd done, Kailas never loosened his hold on me. When he held me, he held me like he was afraid I'd leave if he let go. He was my security, and everything he did made me fall harder and harder.

Where I once couldn't stand being touched by him or even being near him because of the gravity of the guilt I felt, now I couldn't get enough of him. We would fall asleep lying together, facing each other, because we would usually talk until we passed out, but somehow in the night he would end up on his back with myself stretched over him like a shield.

The best position in my opinion. No one with bad intentions would be able to touch him without going through me, first, and honestly I dare anyone to try. I needed the exercise to keep my skills sharp.

Waking up, it was still dark out, which wasn't unusual for me. I was never good with sleeping patterns, especially after getting captured. There were no windows or clocks in my cell, so I had no idea when it was day or night, if I should be sleeping or awake, it was all hit and miss.

That wasn't a problem with Kailas though, especially considering the fact he slept longer than I did. Which was fine with me, I liked watching over him when he was asleep, and now was no different. I stretched my limbs without moving away from him, reaching my arms up over his shoulders and groaning as I buried my face in his shirt, not surprised when he didn't even move or react.