An Intellectual in the Hood

Untitled Part 8

A month later..

I'm losing her. We keep getting into arguments because the girls in our school keep getting out of line and disrespecting our relationship. I always try to explain to her that it isn't my fault because I don't entertain them. She hasn't slept over in two weeks and it's killing me. I invite her over today so we can have a conversation about it. She comes over, surprisingly, and sits on my couch. I begin. "Mandy, I think we're falling off baby. We're always arguing and it's always over females that I don't want. I can't control anyone from liking me baby. But you have to know that I don't want these females, I only want mi corazón." Suddenly she punches me in my face and I'm so shocked and hurt, all I can do is start tearing up and ask "Why would you do that?" She's clearly furious and I'm trying to make sense of what happened. "Jasmine jacking that you still texting her on some crazy shit." I look at Mandy with so much disbelief. "Mandy. I do not want that girl. She's upset because YOU have me. And you would take her word over mine?" I say, fighting back tears. "I have to." I'm hurt and heated. I start to walk away when I feel blows landing on my back. I turn around, stupidly, and all I feel is Mandy punching me in my face and chest. I don't know how, but she builds up the courage to spit on me. Now I don't care who you are, you spit on me? You're catching these hands. Now I know I can't hit Mandy like how Kevin did, but I blacked out and I'm guessing I pushed her. She's only 5'4, I'm 6'1. I'm pretty sure you can already imagine what happened. She hits her back on the wall and I realize the damage has been done. She starts sobbing and that's when I have an anxiety attack.

I didn't mean to hit her. I did not mean to hit my best friend of seventeen years. I put my hands on her. I'm a fucking monster. I need to be crucified eleven times. I think it was bound to happen. Not that I'm justifying it, but she needs to stop thinking she can put her hands on me whenever she likes, that's not cool, the fuck.

As soon as I realized what I did, I run over to her and try to console her. She kind of scoots away from me in fear. I realize what I've caused. All of the former suicidal thoughts come back. My mind is spinning and I feel like I'm about to vomit. She's afraid of me. That doesn't change the fact that she really spit on me because she thinks I'm being unfaithful. I try to console her again, this time she starts talking "I'm sorry for spitting on you, if I hadn't done that you would've never pushed me, I'm so sorry Ronnie, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"It's okay princesa, it's my fault too. My mom raised me to be a better man, a better boyfriend. I should've tried to understand where you're coming from. I'm sorry Mandy. I promise, I'll never put my hands on you again." She's crying but it's not as bad as before.

"I'm never putting my hands on you again."

"Okay Ronald."

"I'm never hitting you again."

"Okay."

"I love you princess"

"I love you more."