Forever & Always

Chapter 8: without you

hey guys, sorry for the wait, i've been busy x_x this is a short chapter beacuse the next one's gonna be kinda instense :p thanks so much for your support, love yu <3

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I woke up 2 days later.My eyes were dry from crying so much.Come on lia,get up.Its what....he'd,want. I let myself fall out of bed,dragging half of it with me.The sun was peaking through the curtains and lighting up my room.I rubbed my eyes and sighed,looking around from my place on the floor.Slowly i stood up,the sirens from a couple days ago still ringing in my ears.Leaning on my bed for balance,i shook my head,getting rid of the memories.I changed and made my bed,it felt forein to me since i spent so long in bed.When i entered the kitchen the whispering between my parents stopped."Sweetie."my mom gasped"you're awake....good morning." she smiled and i made an effort to smile back."You must be starved,i'll make you breakfast." said my mom as she stood up quickly."No thanks mom,i'm fine." my stomach killed with hunger but the thought of eating only made me sick.My parents eyed eachother."Lia....did you want to....go see Alex? See how he's doing at the hospital?" said my father,trying not to stress the word 'Alex'. My eyes stung and i bit my lip really hard,composing myself before answering.A million images flashed through my mind.The day we met when he stared at me with his icy blue eyes without a top.Him throwing me into the pool.Us at our park,talking about anything as i played with his dark hair.Our first kiss.The look of worry on his face when we first stepped into the hall.And the blood staining my hands as i cried,holding him and never wanting to let go.I shuddered."Sure." My parents didn't even try to hold in their shock,but quickly recovered."I'll call the hospital,we'll go whenever you're ready." said my mom,holding my hand lovingly."I wanna go now.Please." "But.." my mom started,but just sighed."Ok honey." she said and called the hospital.

Half an hour later we pulled into the hospital parking lot."Here we are." said my mom,not moving from her seat."You sure you're okay?" she asked. "Ya mom,i'm fine.." i pushed my hair behind my ear and then remembered that Alex used to do that."I really need to see him." i added. My mom smiled at me sympathetically and opened her door."Oh,mom? could i....could you pick me up later?I kinda wanna be alone..with him." My mom sighed but let me.She knew how important he was to me and i knew it was killing her to see me so sad,so i forced a smile and kissed her goodbye before i opened the door and walked into the hospital.

"Um,hi." i said to the lady with her hair pulled neatly into a bun at the counter.I knew i didn't look half as put together as her but i didn't care. "How may i help you?" she asked,smiling."I'm here to see Alex...i have an appointement..?" "Oh.Yes,room 201,up the stairs to the right." she nodded towards the staircase."Thank you." i replied,forcing a smile. With every step up the stairs i regretted coming.My stomach turned and my head swirled.I gripped the handle to room 201 until my knuckles turned white,but i couldn't get myself to open the door.I leaned my forehead against it and closed my eyes.Please be alive,please be fine,please come home soon.."Please." i said aloud,and swung open the door.My legs shook and i felt my eyes start stinging.He was asleep,his long black lashes casting shadows onto his cheekbones.He looked thinner,but his hair still shined and his lips were still a deep pink.I made my way slowly to the chair beside his bed and sat down."Alex?" i whispered.Silence.I stared at the machine attatched to him through his arm.It was beeping as the line went up and down stedily.Curious as to why they'd need to make sure he's alive,i pulled his blanket down."Oh..Alex." i gasped,biting my lip.His whole torso was wrapped in a bandage that i imagine was once white.Now it was red,the blood seeping through.It's been two days..he's been bleeding for two days.No wonder..I looked up at the machine again,but this time my heart stopped whenever the line went down.When i looked back at my hands,they were delicately laying on the end of he bandage,dying to reveal what's underneath,to reassure myself he would be okay.But when my hands began to shake,i dropped them onto my lap.Do i really wanna know? I eyed he bandage again and shook my head."So,um,Alex.." i started,even though i knew he couldn't hear. "I really missed you.You scared me,you know that?" a tear fell down my cheek,but i quickly wiped it off.I slid my hand underneath his and shivered.His hand was frozen.I pulled the blanket back onto him,hiding the bandage and taking in all the familiar details on his face."You're gonna be okay,alright??I promise..." i brought my chair closer to the side of his bed and laid my head beside his arm and took his hand,this time ignoring the cold of his skin against mine.

I was in a room with four white walls.I tried to move,but i couldn't.Across the room was Alex.His bandaged wound was un covered and bleeding as he lay on the ground.The blood made its way to the walls near him,staining them red.Alex stood up and tried making his way to me,but i couldn't move.I couldn't meet him halfway.The room continued turning red as he stumbled,crawled,reached for walls as balance,and i sat there watching.I tried screaming his name,but my mouth wouldn't even open.Finally,after what felt like forever of watching him suffer,he reached me. "Lia!" he said,but before he could continue he fell to the ground.In the background i could hear the machine's long,steady beep that meant he was gone.And there was nothing i could do to help.

"Excuse me,ma'am?" the room blurred back into focus.A nurse dressed head to toe in white was standing beside me."I'm going to have to ask you to leave,your appointement is over and we need to change his bandages and medicate him." she said.I sat up and looked at the time.12:00,had it really been two hours?? "Um,alright." i mumbled,eyeing the machine again.I kissed the tip of his nose,the way he used to do to me.Suddenly i didn't want to leave.I gripped his hand tighter and stared at him."Ma'am," started the nurse "I got it,thanks." i snapped back,closing my eyes and letting go of Alex's hand. Then i left before i could plant myself back into that chair and never leave his side.But i stopped at the door "Is he going to be okay??" i asked her,wrapping my arms around myself and staring at the nurse through watery eyes. I waited a long time but she didn't answer. "I don't know,he's lost a lot of blood and the knife punctured-" "Ok." i interrupted,not wanting to hear about the pain he was going through that i couldn't do anything about.

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