It's been over a month now and I can't stop, every chance I get I dig the razor into my thigh. As my body grew numb on the cold floor I couldn't help but think about dying right here, I looked at the razor blade in my hand and with my other hand I pressed a finger against my jugular vein.
"Brie!', I'm leaving to go back to Angelo's house" Andrea's voice snapped me out of my trance
"Ok" I stood up from the floor and took a warm bath to clean up the blood
I walked out of the shower, wrapped my towel around and grabbed a bottle of hydrogen peroxide and some cotton balls from my cabinet.
I dropped my towel to the ground in front of the mirror and cleaned each cut carefully, the words I'm so disappointed rolled over and over in my head.
Chris' POV (finally)
I woke up alone in my bed and cold, under my eyes hurt for crying over someone I care about, after sharing that moment in the cemetery with Brie I really started to care about her more, wanted to know more about her and I know it was wrong but I looked into her mother's death and I learned she died of cancer, I looked into more into her background and found some sealed files which meant I was not allowed to look at them, to get a hold of those files I would need Angelo's help. So I went to ask I him for it but before I did that I gave my makeup artist a call
I strolled into his office winking at the girls near by, it was a fun pass time.
"Hey Chris, Angelo's in his office" Kimberley smiled
"I know you're not single" I blew a kiss for her before I entered Angelo's office
"Cuz I need your help with something" Angelo looked up from the files he had in his hand
"Nice to see you to Chris, what do you want" I sat in his desk
"Well you see Brie has some sealed police files, I want them" Angelo frowned
"No Chris, those files are sealed because Brie wants them sealed, if you want to know so badly just ask her"
"She would never tell me after what I said to her" Angelo rolled his eyes
"That's not my problem Chris, sealed files are sealed because those involved wants it that way respect the girl's privacy" I sighed and left Angelo's office
Brie's Pov
"Hey B" Andrea entered the house I've been purposefully avoiding her as I don't want her to find out about me cutting again, that why every time she comes to the house I act like I'm bathing or using the toilet.
"Hey, come in" we walked into the living room and sat on the couch, I guess I just need to be careful, I pulled up my long sleeves
"You'll never believe me but I think Tiffany has a thing for Angelo" I shook my head
"This hoe doesn't give up does she. How's the babies?"I rubbed her small baby bump
"Their doing great. Enough about me how have you been, you look horrible" I sighed, I really don't want her to notice anything
"I guess my past is catching up with me, he's gonna be released soon you know" This has been another thing haunting my mind
"A year from now is not soon B" she wiped a stray tear of mine
"I just feel so fragile and I hate it. I try to put up this tough front but I'm hurting Drea. I'm scared of the outside world because of him, I'm afraid of love because of him. Just Chris calling we worthless made so many repressed feeling rise" she went quiet and I need her to make me feel better
"Why do you think I have so many one nightstands Drea?. I do it to feel wanted, I do it because I need to feel accepted, I need to feel loved!" She engulfed me into a hug that a desperately needed
"I love you B" she kissed the top of my head
"I know but you can't give me the love I want. I want to wake up next to someone who will say I love you everyday, I want someone who will be there to hold me when I'm sad, someone who can stand my temper tantrums, someone who'll make me laugh till I piss myself. I want love Drea but I'm too scared to go for it" I sobbed into my chest. She squeezed my arm and I winced as my cuts was still healing
She pulled up my shirtsleeve up ignoring my protests. She analyzed my new scars and touched a few causing me to wince once again
"What the hell Brie!" I scooted to the end of the couch I didn't need this not now, please not now. I rapidly blinked away my tears
"What did I tell you about this Brie?. I told you not to do this anymore, you promised me!"
"Please. I'm sorry, I'm sorry" the memories of his yelling at me we at the front of my brain, he would grab my arms where my wounds were and hit me as many times as he wanted. I closed my eyes and rocked back and forth I couldn't deal with these memories. Andrea held onto me and said something about me needing her, I was not paying attention there was too many things happening in my brain
After how long crying Andrea forced me to go to bed she left my room thinking I was asleep but I wasn't. I was laying on my bed, looking into the sky from my window. I heard a loud knock on the door from downstairs.
I went to the bathroom to pee then strolled to the kitchen for a bottle of water
"Who was at the door?"I took a bottle of water out from the fridge
"Just Mrs.Philips coimg to say hi to me" I raised an eyebrow
"That woman is never nice to me" I took a sip of water
"Well if you'd stop cursing her out I'm sure she would reconsider her attitude towards you" I sucked my teeth
"That hag needs to mind her own business. You think I'm just gonna let her call me a hoe" Andrea sat at the counter
"Well she wouldn't be calling you a hoe if you weren't flirting with her husband every time you saw him"
"Its not my fault he's sexy for a 54 year old" she laughed
"He is pretty sexy" we both burst out laughing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ello beautiful readers
Hope you enjoyed this early post
I'm also thinking of doing a double post this month...if I remember and if i'm not lazy I probably will...............................maybe
XOXO
K.A
YOU ARE READING
Fixing Her ✅
ChickLitSqueal to His Curvy Chick I placed my head in my hands, I felt like crap, my mind went to the razors and how that pain would make me feel better but I can't do that to Chris and I made a promise to Andrea but are they really worth it?. I got up from...
