Aubrey (Axis Rising)

009:

         

*****009:

Rafe

Focused. I've never been able to focus so completely.

But now, I have to. Time is even more of the essence. I have added persona's to my life. I am Rafe the father. And not just Rafe the father to three adopted children, but Rafe the father of Virgil, Rafe the father of Rein, and Rafe the father of Felicity.

Steven R. Covey, may he rest in peace, wrote a book that I consider my second Bible. It's called the seven habits of highly effective people. Which you've probably heard of. If you haven't, you should find it and buy it and mark it up and live by it. He also wrote another book called First Things First. In this book he makes the point that any one person will only effectively play the roles of seven main characters at any one time. Anything more will become ineffective. Most of these roles are not to be grouped. Such as Rafe the father---- period. I am a father to each individual kid.

"Richard. It's Rafe. You got a minute?"

"I do. How are you, Rafe?"

"Fine, no time for chit chat. Listen: I'm reading First things First by Covey. You know it?" I knew he did, he gave it to me.

"Yes." He knew he gave it to me.

"How do you with twenty something ridiculous amount of kids and grandkids and attached freaking people in your life, how do you stick to the seven roles rule?"

"Hello? Isn't that obvious?"

"What? The first seven fill up all the roles and you aren't effective with the rest?"

"You know that's not true."

"Then what's the answer?"

He chuckled. "This thankfully, is an easy fix, thank you." I heard him sigh, and felt slightly abashed, wondering if my question was so academic even I should have known the answer without calling and bothering him. Although I knew he appreciated short bothersome phone calls in the middle of his day. He'd told me so on more than one occasion. "Rafe--- you have to prioritize, and it isn't the first seven of anything, you already exceed the number of immediate family members for that to be the case. In fact most of us do right off the bat--- every single person does. We all have more than that number of roles, and even though Covey asks us to individualize and compartmentalize each relationship as a role, it isn't possible, and he knows it. You are first Rafe--- the follower of Christ and a child of God. Keep that straight. A priority, and take care of yourself first. Absolutely essential not to get lost in roles. This does not encompass church service or callings--- those are separate roles. I will tell you mine and you can use them as a model if you want. I am Richard the child of God, I am Richard the husband of Tracy, I am Richard the father, Richard the actor, Richard the grandfather and uncle, Richard the servant, Richard the recipient, and Richard the man. End of conversation. It all has to fall within those categories, or it doesn't fall at all. So I want to be Richard the gamer and it falls into my idea of Richard the man, I put it there, if it encroaches on Richard the husband, or the father, or the actor, then I have to stop being it. That has happened to me before. If you get out of balance, something will give. So regroup, simplify, go back to basics. If Richard the man and therefore the gamer is at the bottom of the totem pole then it is of the least importance to me and I can live without compromising my other roles. Does this help you son? No one can do it all. Don't try. Do your best at whatever role you are in at the moment and take it from there. Be in the present. Be positive. One other thing: Within Richard the child of God I have placed my personal fitness program. That's right up there at the top. Keeping myself fit in all four categories is worshiping God to me. It means----."