Aubrey (Axis Rising)

027:

         

*****027:

Chris finally came and sat near me after the cake had been sung to, and the candles all blown out. People were dancing, playing volleyball, some were still out on the waves. Our group was far too adult and too large now, with stop-in's, to be called a child's birthday party, but Felicity didn't know. She was busy being adored by her favorite cousins, Celeste and Kaye. End of conversation.

I determined not to show how nervous I felt when Chris came to sit by me. She'd been pretty pissed off at me not only at our very first meeting when she'd told me I didn't know Rafe at all--- (and I humbly agreed--- but with reservations because seriously the spirit--- which she denied--- the spirit had whispered confirmation to me that I did know Rafe--- just not from this mortal realm. Simple as that. I had to get to know him all over again in this life, but it meant we were something--- something to each other), she'd also been fairly explicit at my wedding and her mother's funeral--- calling me a Mormon slut.

"Hello, Aubrey." Her hair was too short now to flip behind her ears, or swing around her shoulders, but she made those movements out of habit. I looked around for reinforcements, and for once, there literally were none. Everyone--- literally everyone--- was looking the other way.

"Hi, Chris." I wasn't sure what my reaction to her would be. Pregnancy had made me emotional, but in an effort to avoid coming across too emotional, I'd found myself shutting people out, in a way, pushing their inner selves aside in my mind so they couldn't touch me and make me cry.

Like Eli. I felt super comfortable with Eli, because I had nothing invested in him. Not like Lance, who I had everything invested in. His pain was my pain, and right now it was acute and sharp.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like a waddling stegosaurus." I answered promptly with a grin.

"You look a little like one from the front too." She agreed, lifting her glass of something cold.

I shrugged. "Carrying five."

"How many do you think you will lose? In delivery, that is?" It was deliberately rude, tactless, uncouth.

My heart rate accelerated. "Rafe and I don't go there, we practice statistical denial. Not prepared to lose any, honestly, they are all precious and wanted and necessary to us."

"Not saying they aren't all valuable." She shook her head and sipped again, looking out to the waves. "Let's not go here."

I felt her desire for an overture of friendship and was immensely happy inside, but I wouldn't cry about how happy I was.

So onto better topics. What else was there? I think I was about to find out.

"I see Lance is altering his inner core to impress you." Chris said and then shook herself. "That didn't come out right, please excuse my natural bitterness toward you, long time habit, and I came here hoping to work through some of it."

I waved her off. "I appreciate your efforts, Chris." I managed slowly, also looking out to sea, realizing that I hadn't been exceptionally charitable in my feelings toward her either. "But I want you to be yourself. We both know we have some issues, and not a lot of love for each other, but we're it in together, so at least let's be honest. We can start from the premise that you tolerate me and I tolerate you."

She grunted. I could see the relief and acceptance in her eyes. "I don't really tolerate you then."

My neck wobbled my head. "Okay. Well, we'll agree to be blunt and honest."