Aubrey (Axis Rising)

054:

******054:

Rafe

I left Aubrey on our bed, on her left side, with Angie sitting next to her in the chair, watching TV, and I went to find Ben.

I was dressed in jeans, a lightweight white t-shirt and deck shoes with no socks. My hair was its customary gelled mess, and I hadn't shaved. Not that any of that mattered. It's just that if today is the day I meet my first biological offspring, and we take pics of them, this is how I plan to look.

I checked my phone as I slammed into the low riding black sports car. Damn, but it felt fine after driving the freaking van for a month.

Cussing, even in my mind, made me rethink the answer I'd given Aubrey when she'd asked me for the millionth time to stop.

I'd told her no.

Finally!

I fist pumped low and pulled out fast, revving the engine, pressing the phone cord to the car speakers as I dialed Ben.

Liberation.

I'd defied the tyrant.

I was free to cuss again. Anytime, anywhere, under any circumstances. Any place. Every time.

I couldn't think of any more places or times to list in my brain. 

I forced a grin. Yep--- I'm a cusser, and I can cuss if I want to. And I'd explained to my dear, darling wife on the eve of her pre-mature labor that I wasn't going to stop. Only in deference to her views, had I ever even made that effort, and although I would continue to make that effort, I am done trying to repress who I am.

Done!

Kaput!

Finshed.

I am who I am. I'm a cusser.

I stopped at the gate leading out of the community, and looked both ways as the wrought iron automatically slid back and the guard at the shack gave a tiny salute.

Yep, that's me, cusser extraordinaire.

I turned onto PCH and zoomed up the canyon toward Ben's place. Nice that he'd chosen to live so close.

I was fairly tootling. I had this stupid idiotic grin, and was completely confident that Ben would forgive me---- for yes, cussing at him rudely---- as was my infuriated way when I felt provoked.

And I was, but not at him exactly.

A little at him.

Okay, somewhat.

"Hey!" He had picked up, I could hear it, but he did not greet me. "Look, bud, I'm sorry."

"You're an ass," He hung up as I pulled into his driveway, flipped my visor for his garage door opener. I had both his and mine, we both kept each other's, you never know when you're gonna need your buddies car, right? I started to pull in and found another--- very generic, not even slightly cool car in my place.

Really?

I jumped out, feeling the energy, the need to confront, make it better, get back to me and Ben, bros.

The inner garage door was unlocked and I went in. I could hear music in the living area.

I kicked off my shoes and left them in the hall, following the sounds.

He wasn't alone.

I knew my lips screwed up. How I know that---- I felt it inside before I acknowledged it outside. Hannah.