TO LOSE A PURE SOUL

chapter 5

Tears started to fill my eyes and with great difficulty I tried to keep it in without letting the tears fall...and I answered the question with my voice shaking...

"Daddy died 2 years back, He was sick. And my mom and I live in a small apartment few blocks away from school, she works in a local restaurant." As I finished saying this the tears that came to my eyes finally went streaming down my cheeks. I kept staring down at my table because I could not face the entire class which was staring at me with shocked looks on their faces. And I could hear giggles from some kids and some were whispering. The entire class was silent. Finally Lauren who sits in the row next to me spoke up and said "you mean you don't have a dad? And your mom works in a cheap restaurant where all the people without proper standards come to eat unhygienic food? Ewwww, I'm not even used to eating food my mom makes and I only eat food that my very own family cook makes and are you kidding me you don't even have your own house?" And the entire class started laughing and whispering, giving me insulting looks.

I could not believe what I heard. I did not know that people could be so cruel and heartless to make such comments about someone who is going through a difficult phase in their life. That was the day I first broke and brought my head out of the little fairytale I had made up perfectly inside my head. I was only 6 years old then. For a kid that age I went through alot. And I realised that life is not as sweet as people say it is.

After Lauren's comment about my moms job and everything else  Ms.Liana shouted at the class saying "that's enough! Or else get ready to stay after school for detention on your first day itself." And she gave me a look of sympathy. I HATED IT. One thing I hated since I was small was getting sympathy from other people because it makes me feel like I'm helpless and I did not want to feel that way because it reminds me about how different the life I'm living is from other people.

Just like that Ms. Liana turned to the whiteboard like nothing big happened and started the lesson. I sat down feeling dizzy, tears were streaming down my face uncontrollably. All I wanted to do was run out of the class where no one could see me. So that's what I did I ran out of the class before anyone could stop me. As soon as I pushed through the doors in the classroom I ran down the empty hallways as fast as I can like I was being chased by a Wolf. I ran, I ran and I ran my shoes squeaking on the white shiny floors and finally i ended up in the girls washroom.

I pushed through the doors of the washroom, locked myself inside a stall and sat on the clean floor and started crying silently covering my mouth so that my loud cries could only be heard as muffled sobs. I cried soo much for a long time and that was the first time I cried with so much pain. I could literally feel that pain deep down my chest like someone hit me hard on a open wound. My throat felt like it was in a knot and my cheeks hurt. I cried, I cried and I cried until finally there was no tears left.

I sat on the floor for some time staring into mid air I've been inside the washroom for around two hours because i could hear the school bell ringing for the 3rd period. My cheeks were dry but my eyelashes were still wet and my mind blank. I was just staring at the white walls of the washroom stall. Just staring with my mind blank.

After some time I felt emotionless I slowly got up and got myself out of the stall and stared at myself in the large rectangular mirror in front of the sink. My nose and cheeks were a bright red and my eyes too. I blew my nose and washed my face. The water against my face felt so calming. I closed the running water and took a couple of tissues and wiped my face dry. I stared at my face in the mirror for some time and then I took a deep breath and walked towards the door and stepped outside.