TO LOSE A PURE SOUL

chapter 14

Of course I’ve seen this land before...but it has never caught my eye like it did today. I turned towards it and admired its beauty. It was a dry land, with tall wheat like plants growing on the right side of it and the left was just short brown grass. I walked towards it in order to get a better view.

It seemed like it hasn’t been watered for a long time. I remember how I used to pass this land but it was always green and the grass was much taller and it used to look alive, but not anymore…when I look towards this land now, I can only see sadness in it.

The grass is not green anymore. For some reason I felt connected with it...like, it understood me, something I’ve not felt from a long time…The more I observed it the more it felt like it was inviting me. I looked towards the distant view of my school and I knew how much I did not want to walk in there. Once I looked towards this land it just felt right. I knew what I had to do.

The land was protected with a low fence. I looked around only to see a small, black, slightly rusted gate. I walked towards it hoping that it’s not chained with a lock. To my surprise, it had a chain around it but there was no lock. I removed the chain and left it on the ground. I slowly pushed open the gate, it opened with a creak. I gave one last look towards the school and stepped into the land.

I walked further with the sound of leaves and grass crunching under my shoes. The sun was bright now, and the wind was blowing at a steady rate. The wheat plants were slightly waving to the rhythm of the wind. I kept walking, the wind was making my hair a mess but I did not care about that right now, all I cared was the fact that I’m not at school. I saw a tall tree a little further; I sprinted towards it with a smile forming on my face.

Once i got closer towards it, I realized that this tree looked dead…it had long branches pointing towards the sky but the leaves on it were dry, they were brown and hanging from the branches ready to fall off. The blow of the wind carried those leaves and some of it landed near my feet. I slowly bent down and picked up one.

I removed my backpack and left it on the ground whilst I sat down resting my back against the tree. The tree was giving me shade, I looked down at the leaf I had in my hand. Observing, it made me realize how dead it was. I closed my fingers around it and it crunched without any effort. I watched as the tiny pieces of the leaf got carried away by the wind. 

I took in a deep breath as I looked around the area focusing my eyes on nothing particular. Everything was so silent, until I heard a bird chirping close by. The sound seemed to be coming from the wheat bushes. I stood up and started sprinting, following the sound. Now I know it’s pretty common to hear the sound of a bird chirping, but there’s a reason I decided to follow it. Its continuous chirps seemed to be calling for help…

As I walked towards the bushes the sound of the bird seemed to get louder. It was difficult to see as the wheat plants were covering my view. I walked deeper into it, using my hands to clear the path. And there it was, a mocking bird; its chirping has stopped now. It laid there on the ground taking quick short breaths. I kneeled next to it as I did not know what else to do. it seemed like it was in pain. I picked it up and laid it softly on my palm as i used my thumb to stroke its soft feathers.

A teardrop from my eyes spilt onto its head, I did not know I was crying until I saw the tears myself. Its breaths became longer now, almost as if it was wheezing. By then I knew it was going to die…I just watched it as it took long breaths and then, it didn’t breathe at all. I felt its tiny body slowly stiffen on my palm, I just sat there while holding its lifeless body as I began to cry.

After few minutes I left it on the ground where I found it and walked away…I sat under the tree once again whilst wiping my tears. I just sat there replaying the way the bird died. Maybe I could have done something to save it? Just maybe…but I didn’t know how. I then knew why I felt so connected to this land. It was dead...almost everything in this land is dead. Just like my emotions. 

I stared at the ground where I was sitting. I touched the grass and took a closer look at it as I realized that the grass was dead not because it didn’t have water, but because it was burnt. Maybe a bush fire or someone lit fire to it on purpose….either way, I did not know.

Maybe that’s what happens when a heart catches fire, it burns and burns until you don’t feel anymore. You’re left with nothing but the burnt remains of your dying soul. It takes a certain person to understand you, to bring you back to life. But…does that person exit in a world like this anymore?!