At first I was just staring blankly at my mom when she asked me how my first day of school was, but then I quickly snapped back into reality..."It was good mom" I replied with a smile and quickly looked away hoping that she won't see that I have been crying.
She was staring at me for a few seconds and we started walking back home when she spoke up and said "so tell me about it, did you make any friends?" I felt so guilty at that moment because I was building up lies in my head and she probably had no clue that I was lying. I quickly replied "yes mom, I did" I could see her glancing at me while we walked and then again she said "so what's the name of your friend? And how was she?" At that moment I kind of panicked because I did not even know what I was telling her. I was lying, And I hated it!
I could feel the pain in my chest and tears were building up in my eyes, I quickly looked away and took a deep breath hoping she won't notice and replied saying "Lauren, her name is Lauren and she was very kind to me. She sits next to me in class and she's very rich, she has a decent family and so is she." I had nothing else to say, Lauren was the first person that came into my mind and I had just told the exact opposite of who she actually is...My moms face lit up with a smile when I said that. "I'm so happy for you Rosa, I knew you would make friends and I just want you to be happy." That's what she said.
When my mom said that she just wants me to be happy I started thinking to myself... "mom, if you want me to be happy why don't you open up to me? Tell me about your pain and sadness...I'm sorry I had to lie to you, I just want to make you happy as much as you want to make me happy aswell. We both are emotionally hiding from each other and you know that too." I wish I could tell her those words but I know I can't. I'm not so brave.
We were almost home. I always liked walking on quiet roads because that's the only time I can be alone with my thoughts. The wind blowing on my face and the sound of the slight rustle of the leaves on the trees, it was all just calming and no one would disturb me, unless my mom asks me something ofcourse.
We went to the large building in which our apartment was, it was a old building and it looked dark and unwelcoming but I was used to it. We walked the staircase to the first floor and waited till the Elevator arrived. My thoughts never give me peace does it?! It continously reminds me of my dad and how happy we used to be, one small but yet happy family. Life can be cruel sometimes...Just like that in the wink of an eye it all changed, and it was all unanticipated and that's what hurt the most.
The sound of the Elevator brought me out of my thoughts, my mom and I quickly got into it and she pushed the button on the right side of the Elevator and the doors started closing.
When the doors were closing I saw my reflection on the silver door and next to me my moms reflection standing still and lost in her own thoughts aswell. Only one thing came to my mind when I saw the reflection...My mom was so broken, her eyes looked so weak and she looked older than she is, She had eye bags and her face was pale. When I looked at my own reflection I gasped at what I saw. I looked just like my mom, my eyes looked weak and slight dark circles were forming under my eyes. I was broken too.
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TO LOSE A PURE SOUL
General Fiction"That was the first time I cried with so much pain. I could literally feel that pain deep down my chest like someone hit me hard on a open wound. My throat felt like it was in a knot and my cheeks hurt. I cried, I cried and I cried until finally the...
