Somebody like you (boyxboy)

8. Push Me Away

Charlie

Getting up in the morning was as hard a thing as I'd ever done. I had never felt worse, but at least it hadn't been for nothing.

"Good morning," Trevor said in a business-like voice when he saw me stirring.

"Not really," I answered and noticed that somebody had helped me out of my clothing. That somebody looked like he had a lot to say.

"What the hell were you doing last night?" Trevor sounded absolutely furious. His nostrils were flaring.

"Oh, nothing. Sorry for putting you in that situation. Did the match go well?"

"Of course you weren't at the match... Charlie, you promised me!" he whined.

"Well, now you know what I think of promises. How did it go?"

"We lost." I got up, but sat back down immediately as the world started spinning.

"Anyway, what were you doing while I got my ankle sprained?" he asked.

"You sprained your ankle?" I asked with genuine worry.

"What were you doing?"

"I was just... spending some quality time with some old friends." Though 'friends' was stretching it a bit far.

"And then you just casually did some drugs?" Trevor asked accusingly. "Tell me who they were, what they were doing, and why. Just, why, Charlie?" His tone was so horribly angry and disappointed that I almost wanted to explain myself.

"Stop acting like a parent. It's none of your business."

"Where do your parents live?" he asked. I instantly tensed against my will. "Oh, they don't live together, do they?" I realised what he was doing.

"Why do you ask? Mum lives a few kilometres out of town."

"And daddy?"

"That is none of your business," I sneered.

"What is your problem with your dad?" he asked, horribly oblivious.

"You don't know what you're doing, Jaxon," I said coldly. I dressed, grabbed my bag and stalked out, catching the guilty look on Trevor's face.

* * *

Trevor

I hadn't noticed the line before I stepped over it.

The bell rang so I pulled on some trousers and stepped into my shoes before grabbing my bag in one hand and a t-shirt in the other, then I sprinted out of the room. I pulled the t-shirt over my head as I ran, which wasn't an easy feat.

I didn't have any classes with Charlie that day so when I was finished and walked into Raymond, I grabbed him by the shoulder, hoping he would know something.

"Have you seen Charlie today?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Do you know where he is?"

"Yes."

"O-kay, can you tell me, then?" I asked, running out of patience.

"No," was his resolute answer.

"Why? What was he doing yesterday? What are his problems with you dad?" He simply patted my shoulder with a bored smile and left. "Oh, come on, Raymond!"

"He's not going to tell you anything," Matt said as he came up beside me.

"Oh, he will. Believe me, he will."

"Why do you care anyway? It really is none of your business. I actually got the impression that Charlie finds you kind of annoying. Come play football with us instead of wasting your time."

"No thanks, the pitch is only mud after yesterday." I didn't have an answer to his question. Why was I bothering with Charlie when he obviously didn't want to share anything? Matt's words hurt a bit; if even he had notice that Charlie didn't like me, it must be true. I sighed and chewed on my lip, trying not to show any of the sadness on my face. So that's it then, I thought miserably. He doesn't care.

"We're playing inside." I agreed to come, to get my mind off things, and went to change in my rooms. Everybody were welcome to play, and many people were also just sitting by the side-lines, watching.

"How can you simply not care, though? How can you not pester Raymond until he answers you?" I asked when I found Matt again.

"Listen up, Trevor!" Matt said loudly and grabbed my t-shirt by the collar. "You can't come here and tell me I don't care! Do you think I haven't tried? Do you really think that I haven't done exactly what you are doing now? They won't tell, and I have started to respect their privacy! It's not my problem whatever happened in the past, and I'll let it be until he chooses to tell me, no matter how much it gnaws at me, because I respect and trust him! So don't you come in here and tell me what I should and shouldn't do!" There was a resounding silence in the room.

"Sorry," I said, barely a whisper.

"Come on, let's play!" Matt yelled.

* * *

Charlie

"You can't tell him, Charlie."

"I'm not going to tell him."

"You're going to tell him. At some point you'll tell him. You always do." Raymond's voice was stern, and he had the 'older brother' look on his face.

"What are you taking me for?"

"A boy." I hissed in anger. "You don't get it. You don't understand what's going on! And you're behaving like a child!"

"Since I understand so little, please enlighten me!" I snapped.

"They have contacts and money, they can get away with most everything. You're just a boy, you have nothing to defend yourself with. Imagine what they might do to mum because of your rash behaviour. Just remember Nancy, it was all your fault. It was all because of your stupid, reckless behaviour! For once, if you had only shut your mouth, only -" My mind went blank, I couldn't control my actions - I could barely feel my body move as I lunged forwards and hit my twin square across the face.

"Go down that road, brother, I dare you. It would be such a pleasure to finish you off," I said, shaking with barely restrained rage. My fingers were digging into the palms of my hands painfully.

"Look at yourself, Charlie. Does this not remind you of anything?" Raymond grimaced as his hand went to his face.

"Get. Out." I pushed him towards the door with all the strength I could muster.

"Don't do drugs, Charlie, they're bad for you."

"Go to hell!" I yelled and advanced on Raymond, but he scattered away with a frightened expression and slammed the door in my face. Then something broke inside me, shattered me in pieces, too many to count. He was right, it was all because of me, and now he was afraid of me. Because I had hit him. I'd hit my own brother. I sunk onto the bed and gasped for breath between the sobs that were choking me, wracking through my body painfully as I hid my face in my hands. If I could only fade away, if I could become nothing and leave all this pain behind.

***

What do you think is bothering Charlie?

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