Lams Oneshots

Comfort(Jeffmads)

A/N: It's from Thomas's POV, Warning mentions of abuse

It started when we moved in together. Not right away, but gradually it became more and more noticeable.

James and I had been dating for close to two years when we moved in together. He was a work-from-home writer and I was working as a company lawyer. It was nice and it was comfortable.

Whenever I came home dinner would be ready. I tried to tell James he didn't have to, but he wouldn't budge. We eventually compromised to go out or get take out once in a while, but it still bugged me.

James would also always do the laundry.

"You're to busy." He had said.

I told him I could do it on the weekends. That argument never quite ended.

This is what really didn't sit right with me. In the mornings, I would find James already awake and cleaning. He would vacuum the carpets, then mop the kitchen, and so forth. I told him that I could help and that we could do it together, but he just said the same things as before! I was frustrated, but I had to get to work, so I left. We would argue about this almost every morning, but James was stubborn about it so nothing changed. He acted really tense about it too, like it worried him. What was wrong with sharing some of the work?

On Friday night James showed me some of what he had been working on. We were in bed, him on his laptop. It was the beginnings of a book on reading and analysing all types of literature(aimed at high schoolers). I talked about what I liked, we talked about how to make it better. I told him that I overall loved it, and he sheepishly smiled, turning away like he didn't believe me.

"No really," I insisted.

I leaned close to him and crashed my lips into to his, I could tell he wasn't expecting it. He eventually kissed back, and I deepened it, getting even closer. He broke away.

"What's wrong?" I said.

"I-I-s this okay? l-like are you okay with this? Like..." He was quiet and trailed off.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

He didn't reply or make eye contact.

"James what's with you, why have you been acting like this!" I exclaimed.

He tensed up again and I looked up at him. He was...scared?

"Why can't we talk about it!" I cried, throwing my arms in the air. It was when he flinched that I realized there was something much deeper going on.

"James?" I said, softly.

I curled up closer to him. He still wasn't making eye contact, but I felt his muscles loosen as he took a deep breath. He started to talk, quiet and soft, but talk nonetheless.

"I was in a relationship," He started, "I-it was, um,"

He stopped and his breath was shaking.

"Take your time." I whispered.

"It used t-to be small things," He said "S-some angry outbursts here and there."

His voice was wavering.

"T-they told me it was just once," He said "That they w-were angry and it was once and i-it would never happen again."

"I believed them."

I told him he could stop of he wanted. He went on.

"It was always s-something. Something I wasn't doing right and so it was my fault they got angry and my fault they... g-got physical."

He took a deep shaky breath.

"I did what it took to get by. I was gonna do everything right."

Now it all made sense.

"A-and they would say it was a-alright b-but still get mad if things weren't done." He said.

"James, I'm so sorry." I know he probably heard that before, but I didn't know what else to say. He gave me a weak smile.

I can't believe he didn't tell me about this for two years. But he's not obligated to tell me; he didn't have to tell me about his past relationships. But if it affected him this much? That was the ongoing debate running through my mind at that moment.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I murmured.

"I-I thought I was over it. That it was in the past, that it was behind me. But..."

"But when we moved in together, that's why it started?"

He nodded his head as I held his hand. We talked for hours after he slowly calmed down and opened up. It would be a while before we eventually drifted into sleep with our bodies close and intertwined.

I made sure to do my part around the house after that.