I have accidentally changed the point of view so many times in this. Ugh. It was almost impossible to pick one. And L asked me to tell you guys that she screamed at me after she finished reading. Haha, oops? -C
My phone won't stop dinging, and the sound burrows into my head. It's relentless. It's impossible to just ignore.
I can hide from the ringtone all I want. I can throw a pillow upon it. I can smack my head against the wall until I pass out. In the end, though, I will be the one who checks my phone...Or someone else. They'll ask about it.
I'm going to have to look at it.
I grope for my phone blindly, pulling it closer. My phone has lit up in a blinding display. The texts flash. I can practically feel the menace.
My sister won't stop texting me.
Sally: r u coming down 4 thanksgiving
Sally: i need 2 know now aaron
Sally: come on
Sally: r u 2 busy 2 talk 2 ur sis???
Sally: u move 2 college and u think ur a bigger shot than me
Sally: u think ur better than me
Sally: just because i couldn't go 2 college
Sally: don't you miss me???
Sally: i have never stopped missing u
Sally: but I see where we stand
Sally: ur my only family left
Sally: but i am not ur family in ur eyes am i
The texts make me tremble.
I force myself to type out the words.
Aaron: I'm staying in New York, I believe. I'm sorry, sis...And yes, you're still my sister.
The three dots pop up on the screen, and I resist the urge to fling my phone against the wall and shatter it into a million pieces.
Sally knows how to play me like a fiddle. She knows how to make me flee down to her no matter what. Every time, I know I shouldn't be coming...But I have to.
Sally: ur the only 1 i want there
Sally: ur the only 1 who cares 4 me
Sally: pls
Sally: I can't be alone for the holidays
Sally: dont u love me Aaron?
My heart clenches in my chest. How could she hit me there? She has to know how much I love her. I send her the checks for her dead end business deals. I send her sweet words of comfort when she breaks up with her boyfriend, again. And again, and again.
Aaron: I do love you, Sally. But I think it would be nice to spend Thanksgiving with my friends.
Sally: so ur friends r more important
Sally: i helped raise u
Sally: i protected u after dad and mom died
Sally: but I see how it is
Aaron: Please, Sally. Don't do this.
Sally: Do what???? acknowledge u h8 me 2 much 2 see me?
Aaron: Sally please. You know that I don't hate you.
I have the trembling feeling in my chest. It feels like I'm about to explode.
She has a way with words, my sister.
Sally: if u loved me u'd b here 4 Thanksgiving
I hunch over to respond, blocking it from the world...Blocking the fact that I'm giving up on trying to fight her.
The door swings open before I can reply.
She saunters in, as bold and beautiful as ever. Her day has even exceptionally fine. You can tell by the way her hips sway slightly and her smile widens upon her cheeks.
Jenna can spot me immediately. I make no attempt to hide after all. "Aaron! You're home! You actually beat me home for once!"
"That's ridiculous," I comment, not daring to rip my eyes from the text messages.
She can see it immediately. Maybe she can see how much I hurt. Maybe it's something else. "You okay, Aaron? You look a little shaken."
"I'm fine," I reply, forcing my voice to sound as normal as it can.
Jenna reaches for my phone playfully. I immediately flinch away, curling the phone closet to my chest. Hurt lights up in her eyes. "Who were you texting, Aaron?"
"Just some girl," I reply levelly.
Abruptly, jealousy lights up her eyes. She looks like she's ready to punch a wall, emotions swirling in her deep and willful eyes. "Some girl?"
"It's nothing," I snap.
The two of us stare at each other, intensity rattling off of both of us.
"You have five seconds to spill or I'm leaving you," snaps Jenna right as I turn away from her, trying to hide the swelling tears in my eyes. I won't cry.
I freeze, the words echoing within the confines of my head in a mocking disarray. "What?"
"I'm not dealing with the lies, Aaron. Not again-"
I twirl on my heel. I force my eyes to harden to hide the heartbreak within my chest. I'm not going to deal with that...I'm not going to fight her. There's nothing I should be forced to prove. After all, I am the one who did nothing wrong.
I blink slowly. "Then get packing."
It's clear that she didn't want that answer from me. Her face falls in shock, and the words fall off her lips in whispery half-sentences. There's a certain shininess in her eyes, prompting guilt to rise in my stomach.
I push it down.
Jenna whirls on me, ready to punch. I dodge gracefully, not willing to fight back. I have always been taught that. My parents believed against it, and I have to follow his parents' example. That's all they left. I am too wise to just fight back.
She throws things haphazardly into her suitcase, ready to just leave it all behind. "What were you doing that's so important that you dare not tell me?"
"It doesn't matter. Five seconds are up, Jenna. Just leave," I whisper.
She zips it up and storms out the door. Right before she slams it, Jenna casts one last stare in my direction. I catch her eye, and the two of us share a long gaze.
The door shakes in its frame as it closes for one last time.
At the end of the day, she couldn't trust that some secrets are better kept...Secret. That my secrets didn't involve her.
Does she think I'm weak? Is that why she thinks I can't tell her? That I squirmed into a bed with any person just like Alexander?
Or did she just want an excuse to leave?
Whatever her reasons, I do not care. I have my own excuse to leave now...To run back to Sally like a scolded dog. She always can do that to me.
I will never win, but maybe my sister can show me to at least play the game correctly.
The next day, I receive a text from Jenna...
But I'm gone, fleeing to my sister.
After Thanksgiving, I find myself outside the dorm, gently rapping on the door.
Jenna opens it, and I silently walk in.
We don't say anything.
