Today is September 14th, and that was the day Burr died. Naturally, we decided we should write fics about Burr. What else could we do? He's my favorite character anyway! -C
Today is always a hard day for him. Okay, that is a giant joke. It's not a hard day. It's the hardest day. It's the only day he allows himself to do it, and maybe that's why it's so hard. If he did it more often, maybe it would get easier...?
But he knows that it's all just a lie. There's no choice, no way to do it to ease the pain. It's going to hurt too much no matter what he does.
5:32 AM
Jenna is asleep. That's the thing he tries to focus on. Burr slowly drags himself out of bed, knowing that he dreads this more than anything. He tossed and turned until four AM, when he finally settled in for some sleep. If only his alarm hadn't gone off an hour and a half later...If only he didn't need to get up.
Does she know how much he loves her? He wrote on a sticky note on the inside of the door that he's heading out. After all, he took his lengthy, about an hour long, shower last night. He just needs to change out of his sweatpants and sweatshirt...Though he would admit that it would be a nice addition to the day. A small comfort that he won't be getting any other way. But he needs to dress nice today.
Jenna, he thinks, can go hang out with her boyfriend today.
As soon as he closes the door to the bathroom, he slumps slightly. There, hanging exactly where he put it, is the suit. The suit. Nothing ever good ever comes out of this suit. Since Burr really hasn't grown since eighth grade, he has worn it every year up until now. He skipped ninth grade though, like Peggy Schuyler. That's a small bonus.
He changes as quickly as he can, feeling like the suit is acid upon his skin. He splashes water in his eyes, hoping that the purple bags dragging his eyelids down would disappear. It's quite obvious he's not ready for today.
8:45 AM
There are still another...Three...Five...Many hours in his drive. Sometimes, he drives in circles to procrastinate to get there. Today, he can't wait for it. He needs to pick up his sister, Sarah or Sally depending on who you are, from her college. She's in two hours. Then, he doubles back on his driving that's he's been doing since six in the morning. Typically, they don't speak, but he really longs for conversation.
His phone has been buzzing all morning, interrupting the quiet ballads coming from the speakers, all relying on his phone. Jenna wants to know where he is. Angelica gets concerned with the morning 'flirting'. Thomas asks him a question about something stupid, like whether or not punching Hamilton before classes began would get him expelled or just a stern talking to. James texted soon after that with a 'don't answer, thanks'.
He silences everything and continues his drive quietly.
9:00 AM
His sister brings her boyfriend to the door. He recognizes him. "No."
"Aaron, please," Sarah begs under her breath, urging him not to create a scene.
Their eyes lock. He's rarely the fire of the family, rather being the water that keeps the two grounded. However, water can rage and surge. They can be rapids. Right now, he will have to be that. "He is not allowed in my car."
"I want to pay my respects," Tapping Reeve insists.
He lifts his chin, looking the older, much older, man square in the eyes. "If you wanted to pay your respects, you wouldn't date the student you taught in eighth grade. My parents would have the same reaction. Now, if you wish to pay your respects, you can go another day. Or find another car. Otherwise, no."
