The Way She Was

chapter 15

Italics are Romie

Normal writing: narrator    / writing with lines underneath : Adam

Romie missed three days of school, it may not seem like a big deal but Romie never missed school even when she had chickenpox in second grade, so something was wrong, i planned on visiting her after school, but for now i'll have to stick with i have,two hours of Arabe,one hour of French and one hour of English.

After four painful hours,school was over, i was free, i made a quick trip to the grocery store to grab some snacks, i paid and left as fast as i could. Fifteen minutes later, i was in Romie's front door,exepct it was open, strange, i opened it

"Hello" i yelled, no one answered, i went upstaires, somebody was whispering,crying, i don't know but someone was in Romie's room. i cracked the door open

"Romie,are you there" the bathroom door was shut, so she was probably in there. I opened the door and put my bag down

"There you are, why in the world was your front door open, do you know how dangerous that is" i looked up and i saw Romie's mother, tears were streaming down her face, she looked like she's been crying for awhile

"Are you ok--" i was interrupted by her when she moved aside and there she was, Romie was lying in the bathtub, lifeless, her face filled with vomit

"Oh my god, Romie wake up, Romie" i slapped her but nothing, her mother was sobbing

"Call a fucking ambulance" i yelled, she ran for the phone and dialed their number

"No,no,no, this isn't happening,Romie wake up, please wake up, you can't do this to me, DON'T LEAVE ME" i was crying, yelling, shaking her shoulders roughly, praying she would wake up but she was gone, my best friend was gone forever

"Wake up Romie, please i need you, i love you, im begging you just open your eyes" i cried

"Where is the fucking ambulance" i screamed

I tried to make her throw up but it was too late, i was late, i let my best friend die, i loved her and it cost her her life for me to figure it out, i loved her so much and now she's gone, maybe if i said those words earlier, sooner she would've still been here. i was walking round in circles, i was shaking, counting my fingers to check if this was real, and it was brutally real.

The ambulance came by and took her to the hospital, but who were they kidding we all knew she was long gone, another person they failed to save. Romie's mom drove us to the hospital, but what was the point, i didn't need a man in a white overall and a fake apologetic and sympathic face to tell me that she was dead, i already knew that, i already did.

There was no funeral, Romi's mom took off one week after her daughter's suicide. In school everybody knew what happen, people were crying, i didn't understand why, they didn't know her, they didn't defend her when she being torn and ripped apart in pieces, but i was as guilty as they were.

I haven't slept in four days, still didn't have the courage or the strength to go to school or to even get out of my bedroom, Adam called multiple times, i couldn't pick up. I could've saved her, i could've taken one second out of my day to ask her how was she, she even freakin cut her hair, gave her favorite band shirts, i was wearing one and it smelled just like her,it took me my whole life to realise that i was madly and deeply in love with her, i didn't notice that i was i crying till i felt a wet spot on my pillow, i couldn't feel anything but grieve and guilt.

Six month after Romie's, i was stable, i wasn't healed but i was getting there, with daily therapy and Adam's sense of humour,and almost failing sophmore year,i decided it was enough,don't get me wrong, i was still heartbroken and i needed closure. I finally gathered enough courage to go to Romie's house, i made it to her front door, it was on sale, i took a deep breath, went behind the house and climbed to her room, i searched everywhere for letters or notes, a CD, tapes, something that would help me understand why she did what she did, i layed on her bed, taking in her smell, i was able to breath again, i rested my head on her pillow when i felt something, i lifted the pillow and found a paper, it was Romie's bucket list. Each and one of the tasks were scratched in one color execpt for one, it was the last one, number 10 : fall in love, it was scratched in red.

Flashback

"Did you complete your bucket list ?"

"No, i have one more left"

"What is it"

"It's a secret"

"Just tell me"

"If i tell you, it won't be secret anymore"

End of flashback

She was in love with me, Romie loved me back, that was the closure i needed, she loved me even when i wronged her, when i wasn't there for her, her bucket list was her goodbye letter, her suicide note.

The next day, i went to school kept my head high, Adam was on my side and that's all i needed right now. Romie wouldn't want me to mop around and grieve, she would have wanted me to live, to write, to be happy, and i was to live, to live for me and to live for her, her last wish was for me to write about her and i did, this our story, mostly this is Romie's story.

"You ready to do this" Adam asked

"As ready as i'll ever be" i took a deep breath, Adam offered me his hand and i eagerly grabbed it

"Let's do this"

For as long as i can remember, it was me and Romie against the world and it always will.

But for now,It was me against the world.