My New Beginning (an AmazingPhil x Reader)

Again and Again

*YOUR P.O.V*

I sat in my car for about three minutes to let my red eyes become somewhat normal looking again.

I shoved the needle i'd found into one of the hidden pockets in my down feathered coat and opened the door to hop out.

The restaurant was simple, nothing fancy. Neither Caleb nor I had enough money to spend twelve dollars on a cup of chicken noodle soup.

As I walked in, I smiled at the lady who let me inside, then turned my head only to meet eyes with Caleb.

Oh, my dear Caleb. He always was so handsome. His jaw line was very straight and defined, which accompanied his fine, toned body.

And his brown and soft hair that, no matter how many attempts to screw it up I've ever made, remains perfectly swept to the side.

His eyes were maybe his most striking feature. They were a beautiful hazel blue. And you'd be moved by how much emotion they held.

I stared into those same glossy eyes as I walked over to sit down at the table with him.

"(Y/N)..." Caleb called wearing the biggest grin.

"Hey Caleb," I hugged him, rubbing his back.

"It's so, so nice to see you again. You have no idea how much I've missed you. And you seem even more beautiful than last time, what the hell?" He laughed out.

"Me?! Look at you! You look great, really." We held our embrace for a moment longer until we split apart and sat down across from each other.

"So, what's life in London like? Is it pretty?" He asked.

"Pretty? It's beautiful! I've been having such a wonderful time." I smiled thinking of my friends.

"I've met so many people too... like Breonna, who's my flat mate and best friend. Dan, who's another great friend of mine. Sally, who I often babysit for. Phil, who's my-" I hesitated.

The tears started to dwell inside of my system unconsciously. Who was Phil to me? Was he my friend? Was he my lover? But he seemed almost neither.

The question that popped into my head just then confused me more than any other question ever has. Because I wasn't sure wether what I felt him was truly love or simply an illusion.

And now, considering the circumstances, was he my friend? He seemed to be by the common eye, but what you wouldn't know was he hit me. And called me horrid things. He made me feel unwanted and worthless sometimes, a feeling of which no one should ever feel, no mater the circumstance.

Honestly, I was sick of it. I may love Phil, but not who he's become. Why couldn't I just tell Caleb? He was sitting right in front of me. The person I believed, just a year ago, I could tell anything to, was staring me right in the eyes. Expecting me to say something.

"He's... he's my boyfriend." I managed to choke out, followed by a fake smile.

As I said so, I felt a weight drop in my stomach. I knew it wasn't right, but if Caleb ever came around and even just spoke to Phil about how I acted when speaking of him, Phil would hurt me again.

I had bruises that lined up my neck and back. He only hit me there so no one could see them since they were covered by my hair and clothes. Rather smart, really.

Caleb only gave me a concerned look then seemed to have brushed it off,  continuing to talk.

"Um, again... I'm seriously sorry about not telling you about getting engaged sooner, I just..."