Visions (Oliver Sykes)

I've been dreaming.

That night, when I finally came home, I felt sick. I hated when I was doing that. When I wanted to be mean to everybody. And also when I forgot to pay attention to the world around me. It was an amazing feeling, most of the time, but going back to reality was always the hardest part, and so terrible.

That girl must have thought I was a freak.  Who seriously couldn't see fifty people getting out of a bar? Right, no one.

And I had been rather ungrateful with Nicholls. I guess some people did care, I was just too stubborn to see it. There were times like then when I felt like I was really seeing things as they were, without thinking. But usually, it wasn't long until I came back to my overthinking self.

I was stupid. Did I really think that giving away the drawing of my nightmare was going to make it disappear? Hope kept us alive, as we say. I guessed it was just another reason why I was still there.

I laid on my bed and closed my eyes. I couldn't believe I went through today without punching someone or at least doing something I would have regretted. That deserved a good night of sleep I surely wouldn't get.

***

"No mate, I'm sorry, but Nicholls' right. You should've told us something was wrong. We know how you are when you're alone, Oli. And it's no good at all." Lee said.

"I know, I know. Look, I really appreciate that you all care, and especially that you don't ignore me again, but will you please let go of me? I'm suffocating over here." I hated any kind of physical contact. But, of course, I wouldn't let them know that.

"No." Matt said.

"Of course mate." Nicholls answered and let go of me.

I really felt quite good today. Mostly because I would finish work at 3pm. Thing that didn't happen that often. Also because my friends all came to let me know they were there for me if I needed it. I knew I would never risk to bother them though.

My life wasn't interesting, honestly. It was always the same things repeating themselves over and over again. I was crossing the road to go to the bar, just like I did yesterday and almost every other day of my life. The only difference was that there was no free table near the window. I guessed I'd just go sit in a corner and see what I could do to keep my good day going.

I had many ideas of what I'd like to do in my life. To travel was one of them, to create my own clothing line was what I wished the most for. And then, Lee and Nicholls wanted to make music. I couldn't sing to save my life or play any instrument, not even the triangle, so it'd be without me.

Still, I had a couple lyrics written on a notebook. They were quite personal and dark, but I liked them. They were me, my thoughts.

I began to draw. It was relaxing me at my most, and it was the best feeling ever. If there was one thing I was sure I was good at, it would be that. When I looked at what my pencil had designed, I held my breath for a few seconds. How did I not realize that once again I had drawn one of my nightmares?

This time, the faceless body was in the middle of a large field, surrounded by sheep. But the scaring thing was the one wolf right in front of the boy, the shepherd. The only dissimilarity was that the boy was covered in tattoos.

Perhaps was I obsessed with wolves, but these animals have always fascinated me. They could be your best friend or your worst enemy as well. It was unbelievable how underestimated they were. Just like half the people on this earth.

"Excuse me, sir?" Great. Why were people deciding to interrupt me now when they haven't done that ever before? Wait, were all the customers leaving again?