love » junhui

u n t r u e

In the beginning, you knew that Jun had only dated you for the reason of forgetting his ex-lover. However, you had loved him so much from the shadows. A day hasn't passed by when you don't stop from what you were doing, and admire him and think about how, how everything seemed to float when he was with you. You wandered how warm his hand was when it rests on yours. Of course, you knew how it felt but somehow, he hold your hands, rather differently. Like it was lacking something... 

Feelings. 

It wasn't sincere. Not in any way. When he hold your hand, it doesn't feel warm. The November night was freezing and you had found a way to hold his hand. However, holding his, entwining your fingers with his, doesn't make the temperature of your palms warmer.

As the atmosphere became heavier, you heart became more shattered. He was beside you, having the proximity you have always dreamed of when with him, but it felt like he was miles away from you. 

Everything felt useless. Even if you loved him, even if you'd give up everything that you had just for him; he doesn't love you. Not even a bit. 

The thought of it make you tear up but you need to be strong. What was the point of keeping this relationship anyway? 

You stopped from your tracks and it took him a few minutes to recognize that you weren't by his side anymore. A sigh came out of your lips, forming a small fog. 

Jun raised an eyebrow at you. "(First Name) what's wro--"

"Jun, let's... let's stop." Your voice was shaky as, you took in another deep breath. 

When what you had uttered was finally deciphered by his brain, a sympathetic smile crawls upon his lips. "So you knew," 

"I always have, Jun." A sad smile sprawls on your lips as you looked down to prevent Jun from seeing the tears that was already falling. He was about to open his mouth when you spoke. "Don't apologize; don't say anything. It's okay. I am at fault too."

Well, you tried. Tried to be the one who will make him forget his ex-lover, the one who would be looking into your eyes during Christmas eve, telling you that you were the best thing that had ever happened to him, the one who we would be hugging under the warmth of the fire place. 

He was just a myth that you had fabricated in the back of your mind. A myth that you had held on to so strong, it just hurts. Maybe, it was time to stop living in the sweet fallacy that you have created and accept the bitter taste of reality. 

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I was supposed to post an angst one but i feel really sad rn :(((((

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