love » junhui

t h r e e

It was a stereotype story, to be honest. Once, you were introduced to this guy named Jun, and the next thing you knew was you were already developing feelings for the male. 

Well, it would have been a happily ever after but, your friend-- best friend was the most excited one when she told you that she had a huge crush on Jun. It took you a few days to truly process that your best friend had a crush on the guy you like and you swore that from that day on, you'd forget about the feelings you had for him. 

You wanted to be a good friend, so you had supported her when she told you that she liked Jun even though, it felt like you were being torn apart into tiny sheds. The bond that you both had meant everything to you and you were definitely not going to ruin it because of some boy. 

In order to ease the growing pain you felt every time, you had decided to stay away from the two--your best friend and Jun, and that made them closer than they could be. 

And with that, they became lovers. You were the first one they had told you about their relationship. Yes, they, them, their. It was always like that, 'they' as the both of them, and 'you' who was completely left out and isolated. 

Faking smiles has got to be one of your professions. Ever since they started dating, all you do was pretend that you were happy that they were going out and all of that. When at night, all you would do is to cry. 

Your friend had thanked you billions of times, because you 'supported' their relationship. But sometimes, you just want to snap. Sometimes, you cannot take it anymore. She was cheering on how you've been such a good friend to her and all you want to do is to tell her that you've been a very bad friend.

Tell her that Jun was the reason why you shed tears at night; that you loved him with all of the love that was left in you. 

It was already past midnight, and you were thinking about how you would spend the weekends since you know that for sure, they'll be going out on a date or whatnot. 

As the thought of how lucky your best friend was flooding your mind, a pool was already forming from the back of your eyes, waiting to be spilled. He was just there, behind the thin wall that separated yours and their apartment. 

You wondered how warm would his touch be; how nice it would be if you could be in his arms tonight, since it was already December and it was freezing cold. 

The small pool in your eyes had fallen and somehow, it doesn't seem to stop. If you can rip your chest out right now so all the pain would go away, you'd do it in an instant. If you just can. 

Small hiccups came out of your mouth as your throat goes dry. Maybe, you need to have a late night walk or perhaps you just need fresh air and take your mind off these things. 

You decided to go out of your apartment and go to your building's rooftop since you most definitely need time alone. 

Your small hands came in contact with the doorknob and twisted it, revealing the two people you really don't want to see at the moment. 

Lips latched onto each other, hands on her waist and they seem to be having a good time. More tears fall from your eyes as you covered your mouth to prevent from any noises coming out. 

Not long until they noticed you standing by the door frame. Your eyes widen as you try to formulate words that were all clogged up in your throat. "S-sorry," You mumble in a series of hiccups and hurriedly closed the door. 

You could feel them trying to open the door but you held on to the doorknob, not wanting to see how broken you were. "(First Name) please, open the door. What's wrong?" 

Broken sobs escaped your mouth and you covered it with one of your hands, not being able to chase away the pain that lingered in your heart. 

It was not long until you had given up. What was the point anyway? They saw you. 

And as soon as they opened the door, you were crouched down into the corner, muffled crying and arms tightly wrapped around your legs. "Sorry you had to walk in to that," Jun mumbled softly in your ear. You felt him sling his arm around your shoulder and immediately sent chills down your spine. 

"We don't know what's wrong but, we're always here for you, (First Name)." Your friend crouched down t your level and rubbed circles on your back. 

'We' that always meant the both of them and never you were included in it.