House Of Cards

6. "Oh no, fuck no."

Just as quickly as it began with Camila connecting our lips, it finished with her pushing me off her and separating our bodies by taking many steps back.

"Oh no, fuck no." Camila's mumbles were frantic and left me beyond confused as I stood there, trying to understand what had just happened.

Now, if you ask me, the kiss was pure magic, but something told me Camila didn't feel the same way.

Camila's hands went to either side of her head as she paced. If it were any other moment, I would've been focused on the skin that was being revealed by her lifting her arms up. Though I glanced with our kiss still in mind, I was way more focused on consoling the visibly distraught girl in front of me.

"Camila," I said, carefully.

"Lauren, that was a huge mistake and completely my fault." She blurted out, almost in a panic.

Oh.

"Camila, it was fine, actually it was more than fine it-"

"No," she stopped me. "No, it was wrong, this isn't something that can happen."

"Because?" She didn't respond. "I love spending time with you." I paused, contemplating my next words. "Obviously the attraction is there on my side and, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm assuming it's there on your part." I wasn't sure if Camila's silence meant she was listening or not. I began again, cautiously. "If it's not there, I'd, at least, like a chance."

I had left the last part open like a question but, again, Camila didn't make any move to acknowledge it, let alone answer it. Because of that, my feet stayed planted in the ground like concrete had dried around me, knee deep. With ever second that passed, I felt more and more vulnerable and it wasn't a feeling I liked. So, I tried again.

"Camila,"

"You're a kid, Lauren." Camila stated and if I wasn't listening closely, I would've almost missed it. "That came out wrong." She was quick to add, presumably because of the telling look I wore on my face.

"So everything you said at lunch, claiming you genuinely enjoyed our time together and how you never saw me as a student was bullshit since I was paying?" Camila tried to bud in, but a bitter laugh on my part stopped her in her tracks. "If there's one thing I hate more than being lied to, it's being belittled. Remember who kissed who, Camila."

Now Camila's expression was all sorts of shocked but I only caught a glance as I walked past her, grabbed my bag, and left from the same door I came in from.

Camila didn't come after me, but if she did I doubt I would've heard her with the adrenaline pumping through me. I was pissed.

Sure, my reaction may have been harsh to the naked eye, but, like I had mentioned, I really fucking hated being seen as less than.

Even prior to having reconnected with Camila, being inferior was the one problem I had. It hadn't so much presented itself toward authority, but more to people that were older than me, people I had interest in (platonically or romantically), and people that showed interest in me. I didn't want superiority, I wanted to be equal.

With Camila, however, I kept in mind that I would be seeing her relatively often so I did everything I could, even straight up asking her, to make sure she wasn't hanging out with me for the sake of hanging out with me.