House Of Cards

22. "Nevermind blows me away."

Maybe kept me going. I think "maybe" keeps everyone going. It flirts with the line between yes and no, yet is often enough.

Camila and I were a maybe for right now. Maybe friends, maybe more, maybe even nothing. It wasn't up to me to find out, though. I had decided I would try and ride the waves, pretending that it didn't make me incredibly anxious.

I knew we were on fine terms as I was currently getting ready to go out for dinner with Camila, Dinah, Ally, and Normani. My initial reaction to reading it on the group chat was to come up with an excuse to get me out of it but I knew Normani would see right through it and Dinah would call me out.

It wasn't anything fancy which reassured me slightly. A white jean occasion made me a lot more comfortable than a white tie event. I wanted to make a point to look good. If it was so I gained a little more confidence or solely for Camila was beyond me.

-

We ended up at seemingly trendy, small restaurant. It was the type of place that was wood everything and if the hostess told me they had bought everything (and by everything I mean from the furniture to the plates to the low hanging lightbulbs) from Urban Outfitters, I would have totally believed her. With that being said, the place would be all over my social media throughout the night, I loved hating it.

We sat in this circular booth, almost on a platform, that faced the entire restaurant. The only reason I think we got it was because Dinah flirted with the hostess, claiming that she floats both ways when need be. We got a good laugh out of that.

Now, Camila and I are sitting next to each other. She is two my right and Dinah is to my left, followed by Ally then Normani. If I didn't know any better, I would say it was a coincidence, but I do know better and I knew Dinah was behind it.

It was awkward, I didn't want to look at Camila, not because I was mad or anything, but because it was awkward, naturally. Camila, on the other hand was trying to make conversation as hard as she could, presumably feeling a little guilty, which she shouldn't. I wasn't mad at her or anything but there was no use in pretending like we hadn't just basically broken up.

The conversation between the five of us was very natural and we really did seem like one cohesive unit. Camila and I seemed to be normal, not forced, in a group setting. Everything kind of fell more into place as we all started talking. Dinah stopped looking at me every two seconds, Camila stopped trying to force conversation, and I stopped trying to avoid everyone's gazes.

At one point, I was listening intently to the debate going on between Normani and Ally about fish tacos, waiting for them to realize they were on each other's side. My finger mindlessly circled the top of my glass, filled with vodka soda. I quickly became aware of the music playing but the title of the song just wouldn't come to me. I turned to Camila.

"This song sounds weirdly familiar but I really like it."

Camila looked up at me with an expression I would only be able to describe as her silently asking me 'What the fuck?'.

"Lauren, you're kidding right? It's Tongue Tied by Grouplove. Did you not have this on repeat back in, like, 2011?"

"I would've honestly never been able to give you a title or name of the band but it genuinely sounds familiar." I admitted.

"This song was my shit, I always thought it was the prefect song for a road trip." Camila beamed with excitement, I only ever saw her this giddy when she was speaking about music.

"You'd have it on repeat?"

"No," she smacked my arm lightly with the back of her hand. "You idiot. Just whenever I pictured road trips, I pictured this song playing."