House Of Cards

7. "I didnt mean it."

I would be lying if I hadn't replayed the bus scene in my mind many times in the last two days. I think it somewhat had something to do with the fact that that I was completely shocked but more to do with the fact that I couldn't read Camila's expression as I left the bus. Granted, I barely looked at her, but it felt as thought I should know what those droopy eyes and parted lips meant.

I just knew that if I took a second to scan those eyes and find hurt or even a small hint of sadness, the guilt I would feel would be way too heavy.

Maybe the guilt was right, though. Was I being too hard on her?

I shook my head as if it would shake the thoughts out as well. We weren't dating, there were no feelings to be hurt. Sure, I could've gone along like nothing happened, but that wasn't who I am and I think the whole encounter taught me a little about Camila. Maybe we just didn't work as friends or more or - whatever, it's irrelevant.

I wasn't warm and fuzzy with her, but there was no reason to be. I was out of school and the most authority she had over me was in softball and even then, I was doing this work on my own time for free. I wouldn't have been this cold with her if something like this (okay, maybe not a kiss) happened five years ago while I was still at school there, but I was an adult, living my own life, and I could make decisions.

Plus, there's something freeing about thinking of yourself first. It was foreign, but still freeing.

Now, two days later, I wasn't too sure if I was more nervous to face the team or to face Camila. It was a practice which meant she didn't have to and probably wouldn't be there the entire time. That also meant I had to fend for myself and I'm sure my abrupt exit was noticed by the girls.

I didn't even tell Normani what happened until the morning after when she called me nervous for her first class with the seniors. It had only been a couple of days but Normani seemed to be fitting in well at the school. Apparently Dinah, Ally, and Camila really took her in and she spent all her lunches with the group. She explained to me that it felt like they were friends and never her teacher which was a similar feeling I was getting from them. She also joked about how it was a little weird to have to pretend like she doesn't know about Camila and my drama.

By the end of the call, Normani urged me to at least be a little friendlier with Camila as her work dynamic was going really well and Dinah even mentioned going out and bringing me along.

I figured that if an interaction happened, then maybe I didn't need to be ice cold. With that being said, I wasn't going to initiate anything.

As I walked through the gym, trying to slide by Camila's office unseen and make my way to the field from the bathroom, my luck was definitely tested. My name was called from inside but I was relieved that it was coming from Ally and, after a closer look, Normani, Dinah, and Camila were present as well. At least it was going to be an awkward one on one interaction.

"Hey guys," I greeted generically, keeping my eyes on nothing in particular.

"What's up with you?" Normani picked up on my unusually dry greeting and reached out to pinch my cheek. I swatted her away.

"I'm overflowing with homework." I lied.

"Oh, Camila can help with some practices and games." Dinah offered and my eyes shot up really quickly and met Camila's who had seemingly had the same reaction.

"No!" I responded maybe a little too quickly. "I mean I wouldn't want to add to her work. I know she's coaching soccer and volleyball." I wanted to wipe my brow, well aware of the bullet I probably didn't dodge as well as I think I did.

"Well I'm here if you need." Camila responded quietly and I could practically feel Normani's glare directed at me.

"Thanks." I answered quickly, only lifting my head enough to notice the confused looks on Dinah and Ally's faces. "I better get going."