Over and Over Again [S.G//Z.M]

[15]

STARVING BY HALIEE STEINFEILD & GREY FT. ZEDD
S E L E N A

What did I just do?! I just admitted to Zayn that I still love him. I couldn't have just admitted that because it's not true, I care so deeply about Justin. No, I know I didn't mean to tell Zayn I still love him. I only said that for him to finally let me go. He couldn't have really believed me, could he? Do I even believe myself? Do I still love Zayn? I stared at the drawings in my hand as I blushed profoundly just thinking of the kiss. Zayn's lips were so soft but the way he handled me was rough yet gentle and I enjoyed every second of the kiss. It's been a while, maybe my mind is portraying Zayn's kiss feeling like one in a million.

I was walking back to my dorm, just thinking on if I made the biggest mistake of my life. I mean seriously, Zayn cheated on me. How can I possibly love a man who didn't appreciate what he had right in front of him? How can I still love a man who didn't value and appreciate me? As I was walking through the building, waving at my dorm advisor as I neared my room I noticed Justin standing right outside my door. My boyfriend was waiting for me while I was busy kissing my ex. This totally sucks. Why'd he have to be here at this very moment? I just wanted to talk to Nina in the comfort of our room as I tell her my biggest mistake. But, was it really a mistake?

"Hey beautiful." He smirked. We've only dated for two months, nothing long. But we still haven't had sex yet, and it's because I wanted to take things slow, but now I'm thinking I rushed into this relationship.

I guess I didn't take time to heal from my breakup. I gave him a soft smile. "Hey." He leaned in to kiss me but I turned my head, forcing him kiss my cheek.

He frowned while pulling away and stared at me confused. "Are you okay?" He asked sadly, clearly hurt by my rejection.

I nod. "Yeah I think I'm catching a cold, don't want you to get sick." I mumble lowly, throwing in a few fake coughs.

He raised his eyebrow in curiosity. "You sure? You seemed fine yesterday." He said and I nodded unlocking my door allowing both of us to go in. Nina wasn't home, probably on a date with Ian or in class. Either way I needed her home ASAP.

"So what's up?" I sit on my bed and he joins me wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I leaned my head against his shoulder, as I played with his fingers that laid on my leg.

"I wanted to invite you to this party tonight, but if you're sick we can stay and I can take care of you." He said as he kissed my forehead.

I closed my eyes tightly, letting out a shallow breath. "No, I'll go, might as well sweat out the cold right." I chuckled dryly.

I felt the smile he had in his face. "Great!" He replied cheerfully.

I nodded casually. "What time is it?" His fingers were distracting me from thinking about you know who.

"It starts at nine, so I'll pick you up at 8:30." He said and pulled away to cup my cheeks.

I smiled lightly as he kissed my nose and then my lips sweetly. I felt extremely guilty for kissing Zayn, but how do you get rid of an ex who you still might love?

"Okay." He kissed my cheeks before getting up ready to leave. "I'll call you when I'm outside." He said with his hand on the doorknob right when Nina was walking in all happily with Ian on her trail. They look so happy. I want to be like them, but I don't know what I want.

"Later." I shout out just when Ian shuts the door. Him and Nina sit on the floor, cuddled up on our fluffy white rug. I wanted towards the window as I saw Justin's body walking rather away from my dorm building.